Am I Normal Yet? Read Free

pocket. “It’s usually a side effect of an operation to cure epilepsy.”
    I let out a big, real, sigh of relief. “Oh, good. I’m past the age where you develop epilepsy.”
    Ethan burst out laughing again, just as our teacher arrived and shushed him.
    Class began. Our teacher paced in front of the interactive whiteboard, introducing us to Marxism and Functionalism. Ethan kicked me under the desk. I looked up and he held my gaze intensely, before retreating back under his hair, a small smile on his rounded dimpled face. I withheld a grin and delivered a retaliatory kick. When he looked up, I held eye contact for only a second.
    Best game ever. Kick, stare. Kick, stare. Goosepimples stood to attention all over my body as our teacher’s lecture faded into background noise.
    I didn’t have one bad thought the entire lesson.
    In our next class, I was ready for him.
    â€œCapgras Delusion,” I said, before he’d even sat down.
    He threw back his hands. “Aww, man, I’ve got one too. I wanna go first.”
    I shook my head. “Nope. Mine first.”
    â€œAll right, all right. What’s Capgras Delusion?” he asked.
    I put on an authoritative voice. “It’s when you suddenly believe someone close to you, like your husband, or your sister or something, has been replaced by an identical imposter trying to take over their life.”
    â€œWoooooah. No way.”
    â€œI know.”
    â€œLike an evil twin?”
    â€œI guess.”
    â€œThat is so cool.”
    â€œI guess.” I’d already checked on Google and I wasn’t in the high-risk category.
    Ethan threw his bag down and stretched back in his chair.
    â€œPica,” he said.
    â€œWhata?”
    â€œPica. It’s an eating disorder where you love eating inedible objects with no nutritional value. Like rocks, and laptops and stuff. You’re just compulsively hungry. You’re always in and out of hospital because you’ve eaten stuff you shouldn’t.”
    I was about to open my mouth but he stopped me.
    â€œDon’t worry. You’re unlikely to get it. It’s linked with autism.”
    I nodded happily. “Cheers.”
    We smiled at one another but were, once again, interrupted by our teacher, daring to teach us.
    Over the next few lessons, we took it in turns to share a new disorder we’d discovered. Until suddenly one day Ethan seemed intent on actually learning. I watched him scribbling in his notebook as we were introduced to Karl Marx’s big revelation that poor people aren’t treated right by rich people. I tried to concentrate too, opening my own pad to make notes.
    That was, until his notepad slid across my desk.
    Can I ask you out?
    My breath ran out of me and I smiled the entire lesson. I wrote back only one word…
    Maybe…
    The bell rang and everyone stood to reload their bags. “So,” he said, sitting on my desk right in front of me. He was so confident. I liked it.
    â€œSo, what?”
    â€œAre you about this weekend?” he asked. “I like you, Evie, you’re on the cute and kooky side of weird.”
    KOOKY!? I’d finally made it down the weirdness spectrum to merely kooky!
    I flicked through my plans. “I’m going to a house party on Saturday. There’s this girl in my form, Anna. She said her mum is really cool and lets her have house parties. Her first one is this weekend.”
    â€œCool. Can I come? With you I mean?”
    OHMYOHMYOHMYOHMYOHMYGODDDDD.
    â€œSure,” I said, as nerves and goodness went crazy in my bloodstream.
    â€œGreat, where is it?”
    I reached the platform two minutes before the train was due and tapped my foot whilst waiting. I allowed myself to get excited. Like, really excited. Was I going to fall in love? Was this the start of it? Had I managed to find a nice sexy boy in my very first attempt at dating? Was this karma making up for the crap my life had