All My Friends Are Superheroes Read Free Page A

He routinely opened the telephone book to exactly the right page when looking for a phone number and was always finding money on the street. But nothing incredibly strange, nothing that’d suggest he was a superhero, had ever happened.
    Then one Wednesday he woke up at 6:34 a.m. This was early for Henry Zimmerman. His shadow was sitting on the edge of his bed.
    ‘I’m leaving you,’ his shadow told him.
    Zimmerman leaned on his elbow. He studied his shadow. It looked so tiny.
    ‘Are you unhappy?’ he asked his shadow.
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘Then you should go.’
    Zimmerman’s shadow hesitated. Almost imperceptibly, it nodded. It pushed itself to its feet. It walked across the room and closed the bedroom door behind itself.
    Henry Zimmerman was now the Shadowless Man. That night he made his wife fettuccini alfredo. It was the firsttime he’d cooked for her in two and a half years. They had wine. He made her laugh. They’d opened a second bottle by the time they went to bed.
    The Shadowless Man started jogging. Domestic chores like vacuuming became almost fun. On particularly sunny days, the Shadowless Man will look down and notice the absence of his shadow. He’ll remember his shadow fondly and briefly wonder where it could be. But it doesn’t happen that often.
    Businessman was also once regular. He was Lewis Taylor until his BMW began billowing smoke during rush hour in the heart of the financial district. It was a cold Wednesday morning, –17 °C plus wind chill. Cars were conking out all over town. CAA was backed up.
    Lewis sat in his car, waiting for the tow, rubbing his arms and stamping his feet. He didn’t listen to the radio. He was afraid of draining the battery. He had nothing to do but watch the pedestrians. He decided to guess how much money they were worth.
    The first pedestrian who walked by was an elderly woman wearing a long wool overcoat. Lewis tried to guess her net worth and discovered he didn’t need to. He could see through her clothes, into her wallet and counted seventeen dollars in cash. He discovered he could see into her bank card, into her bank account. She had four hundred dollars in savings and was overdrawn in chequing.
    Lewis Taylor had become Businessman. The tow truck still hadn’t arrived. Businessman sat in his car calculating the net worth of everyone who passed and he noticed something peculiar. While some people were worth millions and other people were deep in debt, they all looked stressed and worried. He concluded that there is only one amount of money – just not enough.
    The only other once-regular Tom knows is the Impossible Man. The Impossible Man was Ted Wilcox until one Wednesday in April. Ted had spent the last thirteen months trying to build fires underwater. Before that he’d spent three years failing to develop methods of preserving steam. Before that he’d spent a year trying to walk on water. Ted was walking down the street when he suddenly realized that all these things were impossible. And he should stop doing them.
    Tom sinks into his plastic designated-waiting-area chair. He wishes this were a Wednesday. But it isn’t. It’s Tuesday.

    FALLING GIRL
    Falling Girl won’t go higher than the second floor of any building. She’s never set foot on a balcony and the floor is the only place she’ll sit. A small sample of things she’s fallen from includes trees, cars, grace, first-storey windows, horses, ladders, bicycles, the wagon, countless kitchen counters and her grandmother’s knee.
    Smoking beside the Ear one winter night, she wiggled deeper under the sheets and admitted the only thing she’s never fallen from, or into, was love. ‘If that’s how you do it, I would have done it,’ she said. Then she leaned over to butt out her cigarette and fell out of the bed.
    THE BATTERY
    All through her youth, the Battery had two things: an overpowering father and an over-rebellious mind. In combination, these forces gave her the ability to store great amounts