A Matter of Forever Read Free

failed, too, as Chloe’s brain wasn’t ...” He takes an unsteady breath. “ Isn’t even functioning enough to have dreams. Shall I continue, Kate? Because, I mean, you’re the Shaman and all.”
    “Enough, Kellan,” Astrid snaps. And then, more gently, “I know you’re upset—”
    Um, that makes two of us. Because WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE? What does he mean, my brain isn’t functioning?
    “Damn right, I’m upset. You guys want me to—” He’s shaking. “No! There is no fucking way I am going to tell my brother that he’s just going to have to accept that she’s gone. Do you hear me? No. Fucking. Way . You are just going to have to get your ass back over there and try again, Kate. Because I am not prepared to lose my brother, either. Do you understand that?”
    His name is nothing but a shade of a whisper from my mouth, even as desperation and words clamor to find their way out. Why can’t I talk?
    “You forget that I know what’s it like when somebody loses their Connection. I watched my father disappear, and then my aunt, thanks to Connections,” he’s saying. “I will not watch that happen to my brother. So I’m going to just have to call bullshit on all of your you better prepare yourselves for the worst , okay?”
    I’m a dog with a bone in my efforts to call out to him, reassure him that I’m here, I’m okay, that he hasn’t lost me, but I’m so tired. It’s so hard to even keep my eyes open. Why can’t he feel me? Know I’m awake? He’s not that far away.
    “I’m sorry.” Kate sounds as broken as the rest of them. “So sorry. I wish I knew what to tell you. What to do. Her body is healed—it’s just her mind. And I can’t get in there; none of us can.”
    Why do they keep insisting something is wrong with my mind? I’m ... I have thoughts. I’m tired, yes, but I can think and remember. I’m cognizant.
    Aren’t I?
    “Sweetling,” Astrid is murmuring, once more reaching out for her son, “let’s go and get some tea. You’ve finally gotten Jonah to get some sleep; you don’t want to wake him, do you? Of course Kate will try again. They all will do their best for Chloe. Kate just wanted to ...” But she chokes off in a sob, too, her hands covering her face. Cameron steps forward, his arms going around her, and the next thing I know, Callie bites out something about this all being bullshit and what the point of being a Magical is if you can’t even fix a person, before she bolts from the room. Will lets loose a string of nearly indecipherable curses and then goes out after her.
    I’m here, I want to tell them. I’m okay. Stop arguing. I’m okay. I’m awake. Why can’t Kellan tell that? He’s always been so in tune with me.
    Eventually, he storms out of the room after one last well-placed shot at Kate’s ineptitude. “I’m sorry,” the Shaman whispers to her best friend and Cameron. “I’m trying; you know I am.”
    “I know. I know,” Astrid says softly. Within a minute, they all leave, too.
    None of them knew I was awake.
     
    I lay in stunned silence, forcing myself not to give into my swelling exhaustion while simultaneously grappling with the insanity pinning me down to this bed. I remember it all. I’m not confused. I’m here because I was brutally attacked. I’ve been asleep for ... five days . Jens—no, not Jens—somebody who looks like Jens put that awful sound in my head after shattering my hands and other bones in my body and somehow or other, the Shamans weren’t able to fix me? That there’s something wrong with my mind? That there might be those who believe me beyond saving?
    I attempt to disseminate all of this rationally as I ground myself by matching Jonah’s soft yet steady breathing. I’m not dead. This is a good thing. If I were to die, the worlds would fall into chaos. My friend Etienne Miscanthus, one of the premier Storytellers on the Council, has repeatedly told me how a living Creator is crucial for the worlds’