Handle With Care Read Free

unload her cool-bag into the freezer. “Did you bring me any more of your yummy pasta bakes?”
    “Cupboard love, that’s all it is with you, isn’t it?” Zoe squeezed my arm and smiled.
    It turned out there were three tubs of the pasta bake, along with various other homemade treats. It definitely pays to have a sister who’s a chef when you’re on a severely restricted diet. The sodium content in most ready meals meant there was hardly anything I could eat in the supermarket.
    “You’re a star, little sis.” I pulled her to me and kissed the top of her head.
    “Yeah, I know. And one of these days, I’m going to teach you how to cook so I don’t have to keep doing this for you.”
    “Nonsense. You love showing off your skills.”
    “I love knowing you’re eating something tasty.” Zoe gave me a long look, and I remembered how, at the age of ten, she taught herself the rudiments of baking just so that there were some decent desserts I could eat. “I don’t love cleaning for you, though. You sure you can’t afford to hire someone?”
    I groaned. Not this conversation again. I felt guilty enough about everything Zoe did for me, but I just didn’t have the energy for many chores. “It’s not that. I offered to pay you, didn’t I? I just don’t like the idea of a stranger coming around every day and nosing through my stuff. It’s bad enough when it’s family.” I punched her arm, and she gave me a cheeky grin before pretending to be mortally wounded.
    “You wouldn’t have to get them in every day, Benji. Just once a week should do it.”
    “So why do you come round every day?”
    “Why do you think, numbskull?” She returned the punch with interest.
    “Because you’re my brother, and for some crazy reason, I care about you. Since you won’t take me up on the kidney offer, this is the best I can do, isn’t it?”
    I closed my eyes on her. It was way too much. I couldn’t take a kidney from her. She shouldn’t have to physically suffer because of my broken body.
    “I think I should wait for a deceased donor,” I said as firmly as I could. “It would be better to get a new pancreas at the same time, and you definitely need yours.” God, it was like shopping for a two-for-one deal on body parts. Organs-R-Us. I tried not to dwell on the morbidity. On the fact that I was waiting ghoulishly for someone else to die that I might live again.
    “I just want to see you get better,” she said, her arm snaking around my waist.
    “Yeah, I know. Me too.” I sighed and rested my chin on her head. I didn’t deserve her and I knew it, but I was doing my best to try and be worthy of all that love. I looked down at her and the sensation of my unruly hair flopping down over my forehead reminded me of my resolution to do something about it.
    “Hey, Zo, would you mind giving me a quick haircut before you leave? I’ve still got the clippers.”
    “What? And ruin that glorious mullet?” Zoe grinned mischievously. “I thought you’d never ask.”
    14

Chapter Two
    Three hours after Zoe had left, I hooked up the catheter tube in my belly to an empty bag and started to drain out all the waste dialysis fluid. I’d infused a dialysate bag not long before she’d turned up, so I had to wait for it to diffuse before opening the parcel. It might sound silly, but I had problems getting it up with all the dialysate fluid inside me. I’d look down and see my bloated abdomen and that bloody tube sticking out of me, and any trace of arousal just evaporated. I’d just start thinking about how the fluid was sloshing around inside my peritoneal cavity, getting more and more toxic as it leached all the waste products out of my blood.
    In some ways, I’d have preferred to stay on the haemodialysis, which was only three hospital visits a week, but what with the diabetes, it didn’t work so well for me. I felt terrible most of the time and kept having crashes. Peritoneal dialysis was better at keeping my blood sugar