Iâm a man; I can take it. Heâs just looking out for you, and I donât blame him. He doesnât know me. Hell, neither do you. He reminds me of someone I used to know . . .â My father stops and smiles.
âWho?â
âMe . . . I was just like him. I didnât have respect for anyone who didnât earn it, and I ran over anyone who got in my way. I had the same chip on my shoulder that he has; the only difference is he has a lot more tattoos than me.â He chuckles, and the sound breathes life into memories I had long forgotten.
I enjoy the feeling and smile along with him until he stands up and grabs the towel. âIâm going to take you up on that shower now.â
I tell him that Iâll bring him a change of clothes and place them outside the bathroom door.
Back in our room, Hardin is still on the bed, eyes closed and knees bent in front of him.
âHeâs taking a shower. I told him he could wear some of your clothes.â
He sits up. âWhy would you do that?â
âBecause he doesnât have any clothes.â I walk toward the bed, arms extended to calm him.
âSure, Tessa, go ahead and give him my clothes,â he says harshly. âShould I offer him my side of the bed, too?â
âYou need to stop, now . Heâs my father, and Iâd like to see where this is going to go. Just because you canât forgive your father doesnât mean you have to sabotage my attempts to have some kind of relationship with mine,â I reply, equally harshly.
Hardin stares at me. His green eyes narrow, no doubt from the effort not to say out loud the hateful words heâs spewing at me in his head.
âThatâs not what this is; youâre too naive. How many times do I have to tell you this? Not everyone deserves your kindness, Tessa.â
I snap, âOnly you, right? Youâre the only one I should forgive and give the benefit of the doubt to? Thatâs bullshit, and really pretty selfish of you.â I dig through his bottom drawer to grab a pair of sweats. âAnd you know what? Iâd rather be naive and capable of seeing the good in people than be a jerk to everyone and assume that everyone is out to get me.â
I gather up a shirt and some socks and storm out. As Iâm placing the pile of clothes by the bathroom door, I hear my fatherâs voice singing softly over the sound of the water. I press my ear to the door and canât help but smile at the wonderful noise. I remember my mother talking about my fatherâs singing and how obnoxious it always was, but I find it lovely.
I turn the television back on in the living room and set the remote on the table to encourage him to watch what he wants. Does he watch television?
I straighten up the kitchen, leaving some leftovers out on the counter in case heâs still hungry. When was the last time he had a real meal? I wonder again.
The water is still running in the bathroom; he must be enjoying his hot shower, which tells me that he probably hasnât had a bath in a while.
Hardin has his new leather binder that I got him on his lap when I finally go back to the bedroom. I walk by him without making eye contact, but then feel his fingers wrap around my arm to stop me.
âCan we talk?â he asks, pulling me to stand between his legs. His hands quickly move his binder out of the way.
âGo ahead, talk.â
âIâm sorry for being a dick, okay? I just donât know what to think of all this.â
âAll of what? Nothing has changed.â
âYes, it has. This man who neither of us really knows is in my house, and he wants to become close with you after all these years. It doesnât add up, and my first instinct is to be defensive. You know that.â
âI hear what youâre saying, but you canât be hateful and say those things to meâlike calling him a beggar. That really hurt my