A Small Free Kiss in the Dark Read Free

sink up one end and a broken toilet at the other, full of black water. Spider webs clung to the walls and ceiling. The floor was covered with used paper towels, dead leaves and other more disgusting things. I wondered about going someplace else but when I saw the lock on the door and remembered the lady-man at the traffic lights I spread Dad’s coat over everything and lay down. It stunk in there, so I jammed my face next to the gap under the door and breathed in silver and black, the smell of night. I promised myself I’d find a better place in the morning.
    I didn’t think anyone would be looking for me – they were probably glad I’d gone – but for the first two weeks I never slept in the same place twice in a row, just in case. It was hard to fall asleep some nights. There’s a lot of reasons why a person can’t go to sleep. Being hungry is one reason, or because of the places where they have to sleep, like under railway bridges or in builders’ skips. Sometimes I didn’t want to go to sleep in case I dreamt about lady-men with electric-blue eyelids. Other times I slept in the daytime, when there were plenty of people around, so I could stay awake at night. Running away was easy; not knowing what to do next was the hard part.
    I didn’t know if I’d ever see Billy again after that first day, because the city was so big and there were so many people. But I saw him often. I learnt to know the places I’d find him. Sometimes at Sam’s Kebabs, sometimes at the mall, watching people draw, and sometimes on the steps of St Mary’s. The first time I saw him, I sat close by, but I never talked to him. I thought he might still be mad at me for following him to the refuge. The next day I handed him half a pie I’d found in a bus shelter. He ate it but didn’t say anything. After that I used to go and sit with him whenever I saw him. Sometimes we’d talk and sometimes not, but I never asked him any questions in case I made him mad again.
    One day, about a month after I’d run away, I was headed down to the river to watch the boats. I heard the bells of St Mary’s ringing and I knew it must be six o’clock. That was dinner time at the refuge. I figured I wasn’t going to see Billy that day, although I’d looked in all the regular places. But when I got to the grass beside the water, Billy was sitting there at one of the tables. I’d got close enough to see the bandage before he saw me. Then he looked up and pulled his hand out of sight under the table. We watched the boats and talked until the lights came on in the cafes behind us. All that time Billy looked straight ahead and I never asked him about his bandaged hand.
    ‘I’m hungry,’ I said. ‘I gotta go. I found a place you can get bread for free. They leave their leftovers in a laneway, garbage bags full of it. But you’ve gotta get there before the charity people do or they take the lot.’
    I didn’t look back. I knew Billy would come with me if he wanted to eat. I heard him shuffling after me and smiled a bit. I didn’t see his face till we were waiting to cross the road. He had to turn his head to see the traffic. He could only see out of his right eye. The left side of his face was smashed. You couldn’t even tell if his eye was still there. Everything was swollen up like a rotten fish. I looked away fast. I thought I was going to spew in the gutter.
    We got cheese rolls and Danishes and went under the bridge to eat them. I had the apple Danish and I gave Billy the blueberry because they’re the best ones you can get. Billy took a long time to eat. After he was finished he said, ‘Thought I might rough it while the weather’s good.’
    Sometimes, if you waited long enough, Billy told you the answer before you asked the question. ‘I’ve moved out of the refuge,’ he said. ‘There was a bit of an incident.’
    I tried not to be too pleased that Billy was going to hang out with me. I reminded myself he was probably only there because