12 Good Reasons to Look Up Uranus Read Free

jug: Toby
Lucky Primate: The Archbishop of York
    L EO
    Although your last Birthday Karaoke session was enjoyable, you finally recognise that your dream of making a top 20 single is likely to be prejudiced by the fact that you have
ear-hairs older than Lady Gaga. Neptune rising will trigger an allergic reaction to Germolene. Be sure to let Hortense at the sandwich bar know about this.
    Lucky smell: Play-Doh
Lucky custard: Banana
    V IRGO
    Jupiter’s influence will wane this week, and with it any hopes you might have entertained of escaping the forthcoming shopping trip to Bluewater. On Thursday the Moon
transits Pluto, which usually means that someone will step on your bad toe while line dancing.
    Lucky lemur: Ring-tailed
Lucky present: Nine Lords a leaping
    L IBRA
    The appearance of Chiron transiting the New Moon on Thursday will bring a new and powerful influence to bear on your life. You are spotted while leaping to avoid a
cycle-courier outside the office and the new support tights you bought last Wednesday inadvertently earn you a place on the Olympic long-jump team.
    Lucky soup: Mulligatawny
Lucky finish: Treble 14, double top
    S CORPIO
    Mars entering your birthsign this week signals a change of fortune when England’s opening pair score over 237,000 runs off the first seven overs, you discover that you
have been selected to Captain the next World Cup team, and you are recognised in the corridor by a member of the Board. See if you can get spread-betting odds on the first two.
    Lucky air: Lucky air: Professional detachment
Lucky duck: Bombay
    S AGITTARIUS
    A square Saturn this week indicates that on Wednesday you may have a spot of trouble when the foot-spa you’d set your heart on is out of stock in Argos. Try to remain
calm – rubbing strawberry cheesecake into the manager’s hair is unlikely to help matters.
    Lucky wallpaper: Woodchip
Lucky topping: Almond flakes
    C APRICORN
    Pluto rising means that this week you finally realise that you’re surrounded by vacuous well-wishers and slight acquaintances who deliberately try to steer you away from
your destiny to bolster their own flagging careers. You find yourself itching to use the knuckle-dusters the Vicar bought you for Christmas.
    Lucky affliction: Nervous tic
Lucky disguise: Rob Brydon
    A QUARIUS
    A note of caution this week. Retrograde Saturn means that if you deal with others individually, success will greet you. Deal with them as a group and you will be eaten by
escaped Wolverines in Potters Bar. On Thursday, a close relative may forget to post you some clean socks for your forthcoming trial.
    Lucky number: Patrick McGoohan
Lucky escape: February 5th
    P ISCES
    The New Moon in Venus indicates that your weakness for men in overalls will soon become public knowledge. The rumours began following a careless remark you made at Christmas
when, between bites of Bratwurst, you admitted to a French mustard enthusiast that you ‘prefer the flavour of the Colemans’.
    Lucky adverb: Meanwhile
Lucky dynasty: Tang

W EEKLY F ORECAST FOR
7 TH TO 13 TH F EBRUARY
    A RIES
    Take care not to alienate anyone this week – especially your partner, as Jupiter, planet of exasperated eye rolling, loud sighs and tutting, is prevalent in your chart. A
man with wild staring eyes and a beach hut in Frinton may try to involve you in a porridge-trafficking ring.
    Lucky complaint: Vange
Lucky cornet: Vanilla 99
    T AURUS
    Try as you might, you can’t seem to do anything about the stream of vile and depraved phone-calls that have been troubling you so much of late. Luckily, none have so far
been traced to your office number. On Friday, you will receive 1,817 Valentine cards. 12% down on last year.
    Lucky wine: Soixante-Neuf Du Pape
Lucky length: 21cm
    G EMINI
    Mars in your sign is likely to be the root cause of a ‘bit of a domestic’ midweek when you come home to find that all of the furniture has been rearranged. One
positive aspect of this is that your favourite