1 Catered to Death Read Free

“Your husband’s name is Steve and your name is Dee Dee? Like Steve and Eydie?”
    “Yes.” Ever since we started dating, people have taken great joy in pointing out how close Steve’s and my name are to the famous singing couple of the 1960s. I didn’t mind. I think Steve Lawrence is adorable and I love Eydie Gorme. Besides, I’d much rather be compared to Steve and Eydie than, say, Bonnie and Clyde.
    “That’s priceless. Maybe you’ll sing for us after you serve the food. Steve and DeeDee. Now I’ve heard everything.” Jack started climbing up the steps again. “Why are you catering lunch today, Dee Dee?” he questioned. “Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but it isn’t often that we get a catered meal around here.”
      “I was told that the lunch is in honor of the teacher who’s retiring. I’m afraid I didn’t get a name.”
    We had reached the lounge. Opening the door with an old-fashioned skeleton key that he removed from a thick gold chain hanging around his neck, Jack frowned. “The only one who’s old enough to retire around here is Junebug but I hadn’t heard that she’d finally decided to call it a day. So Claudine is actually springing for a lunch for the old bag? Well, why not? We all know she’s happy to see her go.”
    “Um, why is that?” I ventured.
    “Most of us are smart enough to let Claudine think she’s the world’s foremost expert on everything from the mating habits of anteaters to how to make the perfect Sex on the Beach but not Junebug. Junebug never quite figured out that if you want to be left alone at Eden Academy, let Claudine think she’s our answer to Mensa, which I kind of suppose she is. She is smart—just not as smart as she thinks she is. No one’s that smart.”
    “Junebug. What an unusual name,” I said.
    “It’s a nickname,” Jack explained as he set the containers down. “She told me about it once. Her real name is Hazel or Myrtle or something like that but apparently her parents called her Junebug because she jumped around so much as a kid. Still does. Probably a classic ADHD case but they didn’t have labels like that back when Junebug was growing up.” Jack smirked. “I don’t know if they had electricity back in those days.”
    I set the containers I was holding down on the square table that filled the center area of the staff lounge. “Thank you for your help,” I said to Jack.
    “Want me to unload the rest of your van? I’m free right now.”
    I accepted his offer immediately. “That would be great! Would you mind?” If Jack finished getting the food and supplies, I could start setting up the room.”
    “I wouldn’t offer if I minded,” Jack told me. “I’ll be back in a flash. If the rest of your food smells as good as the boxes I carried in for you now, this lunch is going to be fantastic.”
    After he was gone, I shrugged off my coat and placed it in a corner. Then I pushed up the sleeves of my cardigan and took a long look around the room. Like the hallways outside, the faculty lounge at Eden Academy had a neglected, dusty look to it. The floor obviously hadn’t been swept in awhile and the garbage can next to the door was perilously close to overflowing. Along one wall, a row of windows in dire need of washing overlooked the town square and on the opposite wall was a whiteboard filled with a list of names written and followed by what looked like chores that needed to be completed.
    I poked around in a closet and found a broom and some trash bags along with a can of furniture polish and a clean rag. Five minutes later, the room looked and smelled much better and I could start setting the table. First, I spread the white embroidered tablecloth I’d brought with me over the freshly polished table and set a vase of sprays of berries in the center as a centerpiece. I decided that I’d put the food out on a side table under the row of windows.
    My nerves were settling down. This wasn’t hard. As a matter of fact, it