Yiddish with Dick and Jane Read Free Page A

(GORE-nisht)–Nothing, nada, zip, zilch— and in a bad way. Not “What do you want on your hamburger, Sol?” “
Gornisht
.” But rather, “What do you want on your hamburger, Sol?” “What do I want on my hamburger? I’ll tell you what I want on my hamburger. I want your sister should give me a little respect when she calls and I answer the phone. Instead I say hello and she right away asks for you. I get
gornisht.
That’s what I want on my hamburger.”
    handl (HAHN-dl)–Literally, “to be in business.” To bargain, deal, negotiate. Often said with accompanying hand gestures signaling juggling, balancing, weighing one thing against another.
Antonym:
Paying retail.
    heymish (HAME-ish)–Homey (as an adjective, not a noun). Can be used about people as well as about places: “The Archbishop of Canterbury? Lovely man. Very
heymish,
for an Anglican.”
    hilf (hilf)–A real help, a godsend.
    hokking me a tshynik (HOCK-ing me a CHYE-nik) – Literally, “banging me a teakettle.” Relentlessly talking or jabbering— but really, nagging or badgering about something to the point of abuse or unreasonableness.
Hok
, used alone, can be a bit milder, and can mean urge, exhort, pitch, ask. “It’s Pledge Week on NPR. Every station you tune in, they’re
hokking
you to be a member.”
    hoo-hah (HOO-HAH, with both syllables accented)– “Do tell!” “You don’t say!” “Hubba hubba!” “Hoo boy!” An expression denoting excited or titillated interest. “Guess who’s going to be at the seder! Beyonce!”
“Hoo-hah!”
    Hotzeplotz (HOTS-a-plots)–Timbuktu, the middle of nowhere. Used not by the mover but by the person who is moved away from. Suggests an unfathomable distance or an unreasonably (and, really, hurtfully) obscure place. “Visit? How can I visit when you live on the moon now?” “Ma, I’m ten miles away.” “Honey, it might as well be
Hotzeplotz.
”
    ibbledick (IB-bl-dick) – Literally, “nauseated,” “barfy.” Vaguely unwell, out of sorts. N.B.: There is no Yiddish phrase for feeling “in sorts.” Then again, there is no English phrase for it either, so never mind.
    kibbitz (KIB-bits) – To chat, gab, engage in frivolous conversation. Once commonly used in connection with card games, for someone who hangs out but doesn’t play. “I’m broke. You guys play. I’ll
kibbitz.
” Not to be confused with
kibbutz
(kih-BUUTZ, rhyming with “rib toots,” as in “tootsie”), which is a communal farm. The one thing you don’t have a chance to do on a
kibbutz
is
kibbitz
.
    kina-hora (KINE-a-HOAR-a or, more colloquially, KIN-na-HOAR-a)–Reflexive magical phrase to ward off the evil eye (similar to “knock wood”). E.g., “It doesn’t look like my son will be indicted,
kina-hora.
”
    kvell (kvel — i.e., one syllable) – To beam with pride and joy, usually parental or grandparental. The accepted and in fact inevitable response when someone
kvells
at you is to squirm and become self-conscious and generally act like an embarrassed twelve-year-old—which, to the
kveller,
you essentially still are.
    latkes (LOT-kiss) – Potato pancakes. It’s possible that Betty knows that Jane is lying, because you don’t bake
latkes
in the oven. You cook them in oil in a skillet. It makes you wonder: Does Betty know how to make
latkes
?
    maven (MAY-ven)–An expert, an authority—either really or derisively. Real: “Ask Tom. He’s the electron microscope maven.” Derisive: “Put that slide down! Who do you think you are, the electron microscope maven?”
    mazel tov (MAH-zl tuv) – Literally, “good luck” (
mazel
means luck, as in, “Talk about
mazel
—he got out one day before the stock went south”). Used colloquially to mean congratulations, but is often reserved to convey moral approval of the thing being celebrated, to suggest that the celebration is particularly deserved: a birth to people you like, the marriage of nice people (or of the children of nice people), an award won