lull sound of distant beeping. There was stuff stuck to my skin, like markers or something. I was probably hooked up to an ECG machine. My left arm had a sudden squeeze to it. A soft material strangled the heck out of it before deflating itself. “Her blood pressure is still ninety over sixty,” the male voice said. The female sighed and instructed the male to continue to watch it and retake the blood pressure again once the second bag of fluids go in. “Any news of her friend?” the male voice sounded concerned. “He was DOA, wasn’t he?” “Oh, no. He died saving her? That’s sad,” the southern drawl of the male made my blood curdle . I’m sure he cared, whoever he was. But that pity tone of voice was not working over me right now. I’d fucked up, big time. I didn’t need him to make me feel worse. That wasn’t just sad, it was…tragic. Unthinkable. “What?” I cried out, but I failed to make a sound. “Cory’s…gone?” I began shifting, struggling to move on the bed but I felt tied down. My limbs felt heavy. I fought to pry open my eyes but I didn’t have enough strength to do so. Cory’s dead? Cory Knights? No. No. No. I felt my heart squeeze again. Harder this time as if pumping the last drop of blood through my tightened arteries. Cory’s dead? A severe fluttering pounded inside my chest. My head felt a weird sensation of heaviness as if it had tons of pressure inside and was ready to explode. My breathing had become more labored. Cory was dead? Oh, God! I killed him. He was trying to save my life and I…I dragged him down with me. Just like Peter. I was responsible for his death, too, wasn’t I? Somehow, I must have been. Suddenly I didn’t care if I’d lost a limb or two. As long as I hadn’t lost Cory, too! I would do anything to have him back. To start all over again. To tell him I understood that he was only trying to open my eyes to the truth. Shit! I wanted to die right there. I wanted the machines to be disconnected from me. I couldn’t go on any longer. Not knowing that Cory…Peter…No. Cory. I wanted Cory back. He was only trying to tell me the truth. For the first time, I came to the realization. I don’t know how but I just knew in my gut when I came inches from death that Peter was not for me. Peter hadn’t loved me. Not the way Cory had. Cory risked his own life. No. He gave his own life…just to save me. Even though I had cursed him out and ran off into the storm. Oh, God! What had I done? Tears swell inside my eyelids and the heaviness became unbearable. Moisture streamed down my cheeks. For the first time, I was able to pry open my heavy eyelids. But everything was a blur. The doctor and nurse were in the room paging for assistance. I was hysterical. She’d ordered more “Demerol” to calm me down. The nurse had injected something into the small bag of fluids that was piggybacked to the large bag infusing stuff into my veins. I drifted out fast…
CHAPTER TWELVE
Kate Samuels
“Oh, good. You’re awake,” my grandmother’s soothing, soft voice greets me as I opened my eyes. I felt oddly stronger today. I had no idea how much time had passed by but I felt more alive. At least physically. My spirit was still in the dumps. Cory was dead. I was dead—inside. She sat in the visitor chair beside my bed wearing her dark wool ankle-length dress. Her favorite one. The one she’d always worn. Her eyes looked tired. Her face was pale. How long had she been sitting there at my side? Waiting. Waiting for me to wake up. I tried to suck in a deep breath but my lungs burned. It was as if I was submerged in icy waters again. But I wasn’t, was I? That was how grief felt. But I didn’t want to mention that to her now. Not now. I wasn’t ready to utter those words out loud. Cory was dead. “Yeah,” I managed to squeeze the words out through my swollen lips. They’d felt so tender. I knew I must have looked like a