wonder. What brought you here today? Aside from visiting me."
"I spoke with your father," Marcel said, and by the way Gilbert froze and then didn't quite look at him, he knew Gilbert was already aware of their proposed marriage.
"Look." Gilbert leaned against the edge of his desk with a sigh. "I already told my father I didn't want this, several times, but he didn't listen. Maybe if you spoke with him ..."
Gilbert might have said more, but Marcel didn't hear it, his mind having gone blank the moment Gilbert had admitted to not wanting the marriage. The marriage that was everything Marcel had wanted since he was twelve.
He couldn't remember the exact moment when he'd fallen in love with Gilbert. The first time Marcel had wanted to kiss Gilbert, though, that he could remember. He had been twelve when he'd decided Gilbert would be his husband. Sixteen when Lord St. Claire slapped him hard enough to leave a mark for crying out Gilbert's name in passion. His entire arrangement with Julian—their 'friends who sometimes slept together' act—had been to distract himself from wanting Gilbert.
Because of course Gilbert didn't want him back and never had. Gilbert loved him but as a friend and a brother, nothing more.
Which was why Gilbert would object to their marriage. He took a breath to steady himself. "I told him yes. Yes, I will go through with this marriage."
Gilbert blinked at him, clearly caught off guard. "But ..." He floundered for a moment. "You and Julian, wouldn't you rather marry Julian?"
Now it was Marcel's turn to be surprised. "Julian and I are good friends, and I enjoy his company in and out of the bedroom, but we've never considered marriage and I shouldn't think we ever will."
"Oh." Gilbert looked away back towards the window, mouth turning down in a frown. It hurt Marcel more than he had thought possible that Gilbert so obviously did not want this.
"Are you sure?" Gilbert turned back, and Marcel's heart clenched again at the words.
He moved across the room to stand beside Gilbert and leaned against the desk as well. "I am sure," he said. "It's a good match, it makes sense, we know each other, we know we could do together." He gave Gilbert a small smile. "Is the idea of being married to me really that bad?"
"No." Gilbert shook his head. "I just thought ... Well, this may sound foolish, I know I have often enough make comments that such things were foolish, but I think at least one of us should marry for love."
I am, but Marcel didn't say that; he kept studying Gilbert's face. There was a certain wistfulness there, regret and sadness as well. Marcel frowned.
"Did something happen while I was gone?"
The panicked look that crossed Gilbert's face for a moment reminded Marcel of a small child caught stealing sweets. "No."
He was still a horrible liar, at least. Marcel's frown deepened. "There is something bothering you, I can tell."
Gilbert blew out a long breath in a sigh. "Nothing, it's nothing. Nothing important."
"You used to tell me things even when they weren't important." Marcel wanted to reach forward and run his fingers through Gilbert's hair, kiss him and promise to make it better. He crossed his functional arm over his chest instead. Obviously time apart had only lessened his ability to resist Gilbert's charms.
"Truly," Gilbert gave him a small frown that Marcel knew meant this was a subject Gilbert did not wish to speak on. "It's nothing of importance, not even worth speaking of."
"I bought you back a gift." Marcel changed the subject; he'd find out on his own later.
"Really?" Gilbert's mood lightened immediately.
"Not with me right now." Marcel felt a pang of regret at Gilbert's eagerness. He so enjoyed watching Gilbert receive gifts, mostly because Gilbert never seemed to expect them, but he was always delighted, although he often tried to hide it. "I'm sorry, I forgot it in the rush this morning. Next time we see each other, though, I think you will like it. It can be an engagement
"I spoke with your father," Marcel said, and by the way Gilbert froze and then didn't quite look at him, he knew Gilbert was already aware of their proposed marriage.
"Look." Gilbert leaned against the edge of his desk with a sigh. "I already told my father I didn't want this, several times, but he didn't listen. Maybe if you spoke with him ..."
Gilbert might have said more, but Marcel didn't hear it, his mind having gone blank the moment Gilbert had admitted to not wanting the marriage. The marriage that was everything Marcel had wanted since he was twelve.
He couldn't remember the exact moment when he'd fallen in love with Gilbert. The first time Marcel had wanted to kiss Gilbert, though, that he could remember. He had been twelve when he'd decided Gilbert would be his husband. Sixteen when Lord St. Claire slapped him hard enough to leave a mark for crying out Gilbert's name in passion. His entire arrangement with Julian—their 'friends who sometimes slept together' act—had been to distract himself from wanting Gilbert.
Because of course Gilbert didn't want him back and never had. Gilbert loved him but as a friend and a brother, nothing more.
Which was why Gilbert would object to their marriage. He took a breath to steady himself. "I told him yes. Yes, I will go through with this marriage."
Gilbert blinked at him, clearly caught off guard. "But ..." He floundered for a moment. "You and Julian, wouldn't you rather marry Julian?"
Now it was Marcel's turn to be surprised. "Julian and I are good friends, and I enjoy his company in and out of the bedroom, but we've never considered marriage and I shouldn't think we ever will."
"Oh." Gilbert looked away back towards the window, mouth turning down in a frown. It hurt Marcel more than he had thought possible that Gilbert so obviously did not want this.
"Are you sure?" Gilbert turned back, and Marcel's heart clenched again at the words.
He moved across the room to stand beside Gilbert and leaned against the desk as well. "I am sure," he said. "It's a good match, it makes sense, we know each other, we know we could do together." He gave Gilbert a small smile. "Is the idea of being married to me really that bad?"
"No." Gilbert shook his head. "I just thought ... Well, this may sound foolish, I know I have often enough make comments that such things were foolish, but I think at least one of us should marry for love."
I am, but Marcel didn't say that; he kept studying Gilbert's face. There was a certain wistfulness there, regret and sadness as well. Marcel frowned.
"Did something happen while I was gone?"
The panicked look that crossed Gilbert's face for a moment reminded Marcel of a small child caught stealing sweets. "No."
He was still a horrible liar, at least. Marcel's frown deepened. "There is something bothering you, I can tell."
Gilbert blew out a long breath in a sigh. "Nothing, it's nothing. Nothing important."
"You used to tell me things even when they weren't important." Marcel wanted to reach forward and run his fingers through Gilbert's hair, kiss him and promise to make it better. He crossed his functional arm over his chest instead. Obviously time apart had only lessened his ability to resist Gilbert's charms.
"Truly," Gilbert gave him a small frown that Marcel knew meant this was a subject Gilbert did not wish to speak on. "It's nothing of importance, not even worth speaking of."
"I bought you back a gift." Marcel changed the subject; he'd find out on his own later.
"Really?" Gilbert's mood lightened immediately.
"Not with me right now." Marcel felt a pang of regret at Gilbert's eagerness. He so enjoyed watching Gilbert receive gifts, mostly because Gilbert never seemed to expect them, but he was always delighted, although he often tried to hide it. "I'm sorry, I forgot it in the rush this morning. Next time we see each other, though, I think you will like it. It can be an engagement