Then, on an impulse, I signed a delayed-entry enlistment into the Army a month before graduation. Your mom was just blown away by that. She’d somehow gotten the idea that she was a pacifist. And me joining the Army was like I was totally disrespecting her world view. The day after I signed up she moved in with her aunt over in Ohio; she’d been accepted to art school in Cleveland and she just disappeared overnight. Wouldn’t return my calls, letters, anything. I got mad, so I left her alone after a few weeks and got ready for boot camp. I wrote her a lot when I first got to the Army, but I never heard back. Finally, I just stopped trying.”
Luke sensed guilt rising in Jack. “You didn’t know about me,” Luke offered. “You don’t have to explain anything.”
Jack stared sadly into Luke’s eyes, “I don’t know how I missed it; you look so much like Maggie. I mean, from the first time I met you I felt as if I knew you, almost like we’d known each other in a previous life or something. But then I realized that a lot of people felt something like that when they met you. We’ve been so busy fighting this war; maybe I would have figured this all out sooner if we’d have had more time. Look, the bottom line is that if I would’ve ever heard even a whisper that Maggie was carrying our baby when she left, I would have come to you both no matter what.”
Luke smiled knowingly, “I don’t doubt that for a minute; I know you.”
“Jerry must have been a hell of a guy to win your mom’s heart and raise you the way he did. A part of me is glad that I never had the chance to come crashing indignantly into your life and mess up the family you three enjoyed.”
“We would have figured something out,” Luke replied, “but I think everything turned out the way it was supposed to.”
Jack pointed to Luke’s injured hand. “No, I don’t think everything did.”
Gracie returned within the hour, with tentative plans for the rest of the evening. Luke was relocated to the small cabin to which he had been assigned earlier in the week, and he was soon cleaned, re-bandaged, and settling down for a hot meal with Gracie. David encouraged them both to drink prodigious amounts of water in order to rehydrate after the brutal day’s fighting in full armor. Jack and Carter grunted their agreement, but mainly remained quiet in the back of the room. No one mentioned what was on each of their minds—that no food or fluid would help Luke now.
Luke gently picked up Gracie’s hand, seeming to study it carefully as it rested in his own. “What are you looking at?” she finally asked.
“I want to remember what your hand looks like in mine,” he answered. “I might not see it again for a while.”
Gracie’s voice was a mixture of frustration and pain. “I don’t want to talk about that right now. We should live in the moment, until we can’t.” Ignoring her own advice, she began to sob, “Luke, by this time tomorrow, I’ll be lighting your funeral pyre.”
He reached over and pulled her close. “Like Beowulf, huh? That’ll be really cool.”
Gracie sat up straight and wiped away her tears, “Dammit, Luke,” she scolded, “there is nothing cool about losing you.”
“Hey, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I guess it just hasn’t sunk in yet. It doesn’t feel real to me—it’s like some sort of bad dream that I expect to wake up from any minute. Besides, if I’m not dreaming, I can’t do anything to stop it now.”
Gracie stroked his hair with her free hand and tried to sound brave. “Don’t be sorry about anything. We can talk about whatever you want; I suppose we should start making some plans for—”
Lori burst through the door, with her husband, Blake, on her heels. “Did somebody say ‘plans?’ I have the dress, that nice commander of the Louisiana battalion says one of his sons here is a fine minister, and Blake has even managed to find a few bottles of