When You Don't See Me Read Free Page B

interrupted. “I meant, why are we going to the subway?”
    Roberto looked like he was about to deny my accusation, but stopped when he saw me staring at the subway entrance at the end of the block. We could see people descending and ascending the stairs beneath the sign for the 6 train. He glared at me and said, “Suck it up. You can’t ride the bus forever, and taxis are expensive. We’ll be fine. Trust me.”
    â€œManipulative asswipe. You had to bring trust into this, didn’t you?”
    â€œYou know I think of you like a brother. For you to doubt me, to think I’d willingly put you in harm’s way, is like a slap in the face. A knife in my heart. A snake’s fangs in my—”
    â€œEnough! Fine. I’ll do it.”
    We fought our way into the subway against people elbowing their way out. I slumped in a seat still warm from the behind of its previous occupant. I did everything I could to distract myself, so my mind wouldn’t think about what could be happening above while we were trapped below. I tried counting the dingy white tiles of the station wall outside, but the train lurched forward and thwarted my plan. I counted sneakers. There were twenty-four; twelve pairs. Then I worried all that counting was a sign I had OCD, so I stared at Roberto and tried to send him a telepathic message: I hate you for making me do this. He stood in front of me, obliviously holding on to the bar overhead while staring at some girl’s ass. I started counting asses.
    When we exited at Sixty-eighth Street, I had to cover my ears because of the noise. Across the street from the subway entrance, behind a tall blue construction fence, a building was being torn down. As part of a brick wall crashed down, I glared at Roberto, who stared straight ahead and pretended nothing was happening. I followed him, wanting to get away from the noise and destruction. Since he seemed to have a plan and I had nowhere to be, I stayed silent until he stopped at the zoo and reached into his pocket to pay.
    â€œYou don’t have to do that,” I croaked.
    Roberto looked at me and rolled his eyes. “Forget it, man.”
    We walked in silence, avoiding the sea lions in the Central Garden. I wasn’t sure if the sparse crowd was because it was nearly closing time or because of the weather. I hadn’t spent much time there. Or in any zoo, for that matter. It was small. Intimate. It might have been a nice date if I wasn’t walking toward death’s door with Roberto.
    â€œHere we are,” Roberto announced.
    I looked around. “The North Pole?”
    Roberto ignored me to stare at a polar bear, who took little notice of our arrival. The bear undoubtedly loved winter in New York. I wondered what he did during the summer. Probably spent most of it swimming. Maybe he had a time-share in Greenland.
    â€œWhat up, iceberg?” Roberto greeted the bear. “What’s the fizz, fuzzy?”
    â€œYou and the bear are close?” I asked.
    â€œHe’s not bad for a white dude. I come here a lot when I need to think. Or be alone, you know?”
    â€œYou usually have the zoo to yourself?”
    â€œYou usually such a smartass?”
    â€œSorry. It’s the cold medication talking.”
    â€œNo, I don’t usually have the place to myself. But even when it’s crowded, I can tune it all out. Make everybody invisible, like they don’t exist.”
    â€œDo you always come to see the bear?”
    â€œYeah. No. I mean, yeah, I always come to see him, but not always just him. I like to spend time with the sea lions, too. But that’s about it. Sometimes I check out other stuff, but mostly just those two, you know? There’s other bears, too. Somewhere.”
    â€œInteresting.” I rubbed my forehead.
    â€œYou feel that bad?”
    I thought about Morgan and her two snakes back in our apartment. “No. I’m cool.”
    â€œGood. I