What to Expect the Toddler Years Read Free

new skills; they are necessary to normal development. Progress may slow, too, or even slide backward, during times of stress. With adequate support at such times, toddlers usually get right back on the forward track.
A Note to Nontraditional Families
    There’s more than one way to raise a family these days. Though the so-called “traditional” home—where a married couple raise the children together—is still perceived as the norm, half of all American children under eighteen are being raised in nontraditional homes. Sometimes by choice, more often by circumstance, more and more families are headed by single parents, usually mothers. And while they’re still a small minority, other types of nontraditional families—including those headed by solo fathers, unmarried heterosexual or same-sex couples, mothers and fathers sharing custody in separate homes, and grandparents raising grandchildren—are also growing in number.
    This book is meant for all kinds of families—traditional and nontraditional. For the sake of simplicity as well as syntax, we sometimes refer to the traditional family rather than trying to address every conceivable family configuration. But such references are not meant to exclude or offend those living in less traditional arrangements. For more on nontraditional families, see Chapter Twenty-Five .

P ART O NE
The Second and Third Years

C HAPTER O NE
The Thirteenth Month
W HAT YOUR TODDLER MAY BE DOING NOW
    By the end of this month, * your toddler
. . . should be able to (see Note ):
    pull up to standing position
    get into a sitting position
    cruise (move from place to place, always holding on)
    clap hands (play “patty-cake”)
    indicate wants in ways other than crying
    Note: If your toddler has not reached these milestones or doesn’t use his or her hands for purposeful activities like picking things up, consult the doctor or nurse-practitioner. This rate of development may well be normal for your child (some children are late bloomers), but it needs to be evaluated. Also check with the doctor if your toddler seems unresponsive, doesn’t smile, makes few or no sounds, doesn’t seem to hear well, is perpetually irritable, or demands constant attention. (Remember, the one-year-old who was born prematurely often lags behind others of the same chronological age. This developmental gap progressively narrows and generally disappears entirely around age two.)
    . . . will probably be able to:
    put an object into a container (by 12½ months)
    imitate activities (by 12½ months)
    stand alone (by 12½ months)
    use 1 recognizable word
    . . . may possibly be able to:
    drink from a cup
    use 2 recognizable words (by 12½ months)
    point to a desired object (by 12½ months)
    scribble
    walk well
    . . . may even be able to:
    use a spoon/fork (but not exclusively)
    remove an article of clothing
    point to 1 body part when asked
    use an object in imitation
    Intellectual development. Early in the second year, toddlers are explorers and scientists, picking up, studying, testing, manipulating, maybe still putting in their mouths, everything in their path. Cause and effect is a major focus. They live in the here and now, and do not show much imagination or abstract thinking as yet.
    Emotional development. As the world begins to open up, the toddler, who has come a long way from the eat-cry-sleep newborn, opens up, too, displaying a wide range of moods, feelings, and behaviors. Expect them and accept them—they are part of growing up. This range includes displays of affection, independence, frustration, fear, anger, protest, stubbornness, willfulness, sadness, anxiety, and puzzlement.
W HAT YOU CAN EXPECT AT THE ONE-YEAR CHECKUP
    Preparing for the checkup. Keep a list of concerns that have come up since the last visit to your child’s doctor or nurse-practitioner. Be sure to bring the questions with you to this visit so you will be ready when the doctor asks, “Any concerns?” Also jot down new skills your toddler