What Kind of Love? Read Free Page B

night for dinner. They all serve this fattening Hungarian food that you have to eat to be polite. I don’t think they have ever heard of low fat or low cholesterol in Chicago.
    People keep calling me Sandy, even though she’s three and a half years older than me and in college and she’s beautiful. Now that she’s back from school, she’s Miss Perfect. She never does anything to make Mom and Daddy mad. I used to hate her because she has Mom’s tiny nose and I wish I had it. Mine is like Daddy’s and comes straight down from my forehead like the Statue of Liberty’s. But Peter thinks it has character. He loves it. Anyhow, I can’t understand how people could get us mixed up. We’re so different.
    I was going to talk to Sandy, but I decided not to. She thinks she knows everything. And she’s so bossy to Nick and me—like on Sunday, Aunt Vera was serving dessert and she wouldn’t let her give me any. She said I was getting fat. And then on Monday, when I said I didn’t want to go window-shopping with her because I wanted to take a nap before dinner, she asked me if I was practicing for the role of Sleeping Beauty. I can’t believe I ever missed her. What a bitch!
    On the other hand, Daddy is being great. I think he’s trying to keep us out of Mom’s way so she can spend all her time with Grandma. Yesterday when Mom went with Grandma to the doctor, he took me and Nick to this Chinese restaurant for lunch. It looked like a dump, but the food was wonderful. Then we went to this music store that had everything, and he said we each could choose one thing. I picked Rachmaninoff’s Second, even though I don’t think I’ll be able to play it. It’s so romantic.
    Today we went sailing on Uncle Bela’s boat. Daddy let us all take turns steering the boat. We were going fast, and the boat was keeling until I was almost in the water. Sandy was screaming, “It’s going to turn over. Stop, Daddy! Stop!” But Daddy just laughed.
    When it was Nick’s turn, he almost sailed us right into a big tour boat. Daddy kept yelling at him, “Turn your tiller. More to starboard, away from you, more, more.” We would have rammed into the other boat if Daddy hadn’t grabbed the tiller away from him at the last minute. The captain of the boat waved his fist at us. Nick and I thought it was hilarious. Sandy was furious and said she’d never get in a boat with us again.
    Nick said he wouldn’t have hit it. He only wanted to see how close he could come. He would have turned away at the last minute. I thought Daddy was going to bawl Nick out, but he just took over and didn’t let Nick take the tiller again.
    It was fun. Daddy says if we really want to learn how to sail, he’ll take us out in the harbor at Newport Beach. They rent boats there. I would love to go sailing with Peter. Only five more days until I see him again. I wish I were in his arms right now.

Wednesday, June 26
    I bought the home pregnancy test kit this morning on my way over to see Grandma. I was terrified. They were on the shelf right under the partition for the area where they fill prescriptions, and I know the druggist was watching me. I grabbed a test and walked to the register. I thought someone might say something or give me a look, but no one did. I just paid for the test, put it in my backpack, and walked out.
    I know the man behind the desk was watching me. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time I was waiting for the elevator. It made me feel real self-conscious. As soon as I was in the room, I put the kit in with all of my dirty clothes where no one will look. I don’t want to take it now because Sandy will be back any minute and I might still get my period.

Thursday, June 27
    I practiced with Grandpa today, and now I understand why Mom quit. He was working with me on my bowing and kept yelling, “More tone, more tone, louder.” It was