Weirder Than Weird Read Free Page A

once again, hoping to glean some answer to my predicament but I discovered nothing useful. I was contemplating running away from home when just by chance I spotted another envelope taped to the inside of the box, with the words, ‘OPEN IN CASE OF EMERGENCY’ written on it. I quickly tore open the envelope and breathed a sigh of relief, for I was now holding a smaller envelope with the words, ‘DOG CATCHER SEEDS.’”
        The old man smiled and gave a salute as the other members roared with laughter. He took his seat as the bald gentleman stepped back up to the podium with a chuckle.
         “Thank you, William, for that most unusual tale… now, who will…” He stopped suddenly as he noticed an unfamiliar man in the back of the room stand and make his way towards the exit.
        “Ah… Sir… I don’t believe we have had the pleasure!” the bald man shouted. All the members craned their necks to see who he was addressing.
        The man in the trench coat and Fedora hat turned back in embarrassment with large jowls and a face full of sagging skin. “Oh…I must apologize,” he said. “I just caught sight of your banner on the far wall…you gentleman of course belong to the ‘TALL TALE SOCIETY.’ I must have gotten the wrong room. Somewhere in this building, according to my pamphlet here, is a lecture on Genetic Experimentation and I am to be one of its guest speakers… please forgive my intrusion.” 
        He turned to leave but the man at the podium yelled out, “But Sir!… we always appreciate and welcome having guest speakers ourselves!”
        “Hear! Hear!” came a number of voices from the group.
        “Would you not like to share a tale with us before you leave?”
        At hearing this, the man threw his head back and howled with laughter. “Sir, if you only knew the absolute irony behind what you have just said!” At that moment, the pamphlet dropped from the man’s hand and he bent over to pick it up, but as he did his hat fell off and two long floppy ears came tumbling down around his face and a stiff fuzzy white tail sprang freely from the back of his coat.
        There was an audible gasp from the group and a moment later, a gavel was pounding out order once again. “Now then…” said the bald man, turning back towards the group. “Anyone care to top that?”

 
     
    TELL A TALE TAVERN
     
        Deep in the forest of Greyshire, a dark and forlorn figure could be seen wandering its long forgotten road in search of shelter. The gloom of night descended quickly and with it a shroud of mist layered the trees and roadway like a gathering of spirits. Yet up ahead, peeking out from behind a small copse of trees, a pale yellow light seemed to beckon the traveler, a most welcomed sight considering his present circumstance.  As he moved closer, he could see more clearly the outline of a large log cabin and upon arrival a great wooden sign hung prominently from the top of its doorway, it read “TELL A TALE TAVERN & INN.” The words seemed to be freshly painted and covering up a different name underneath but he couldn’t quite discern exactly what it was because of the poor lighting. An uneasiness crept over him as he stepped to one side and peered through the window.
        A fireplace was brightly ablaze on the far end of the room and a few tattered deer heads hung from its darkened walls. There were also a number of roughly hewn wooden tables and chairs dotting its inside but not much more could be seen from the window. “Such a dismal décor,” he thought to himself as he started to make his way inside. He wrenched the rusty door handle with great effort and the heavy wooden door slowly swung open with a moanful creak. Aside from the crackling of the fire, the room was deathly quiet and void of any presence. His eyes scanned the interior. A row of vintage oil lamps hung from a grey wooden beam that ran down the center of the room and to his left was a large