Watch Over Me Read Free Page B

times and then gets
     frustrated when I don't have time to talk. He has no clue how busy I am or that everything
     doesn't revolve around his stupid drinking problem."
    I say this quickly and try to gloss over the importance of those words and what they
     do to me when I speak them aloud. Dr. Thompson isn't going to be fooled though.
    "This is his fifth time in rehab, correct?"
    I nod in response, the reality of just how different my life is from a year and a
     half ago glaringly obvious.
    "How do you feel about the fact that he wasn't able to stay sober all those times
     when he got out?" she asks as she folds her hands in her lap on top of the pad of
     paper with the pencil sticking up between her fingers.
    "Hurt. Sad. Pissed off."
    "Your mother's death hit him hard," she states.
    "It hit both of us hard. It was unexpected and it shouldn't have happened like it
     did. I needed him and he wasn't there for me."
    Dr. Thompson unclasps her hands and writes a few things on the paper.
    "Do you blame your father for your suicide attempt?"
    I cringe when she says the word suicide . I don't want to be placed in this category of weak people who have nothing left
     to live for and feel like it's their only way out. After all of the soul searching
     I've been forced to do since that day at the cemetery, I've realized I don't really
     want to die. I just want to feel something other than sadness. Even though I question
     God every day, and no longer believe in half the things I was taught growing up in
     the Catholic Church, one thing still remains with me. If I took my own life, heaven—if
     there even is such a place—is not where I would wind up.
    "Yes. No. I don't know, maybe." I sigh irritably in response to her question. "He
     crumbled when she died. Just...faded away. It was like I lost both parents in one
     day. It was too much."
    "I think you have every right to be disappointed in him for his actions. You just
     need to remember that he's grieving too. He lost his wife and he'll never get her
     back," Dr. Thompson says softly.
    "And I lost my mother. At least he can move on someday and find another wife. I'll
     never have another mom."
     

     
    "Meg, can you grab me a dozen of the devil's food cupcakes with the cream cheese frosting
     from the back, please?" I yell to Snow's other employee as she disappears through
     the swinging door behind the counter while I ring up a customer.
    Meg's twenty-two, bubbly, and outgoing—the complete opposite as me, but she reminds
     me so much of my old self that I was instantly drawn to her. I had met her during
     my mandatory seventy-two hour psych evaluation at Metro Hospital. I still will never
     understand how someone like her wound up in a place like a psych ward, which just
     shows how out of touch I was with my own mental health. We met just outside the hospital
     two hours after I woke up from my sedation when I was permitted five minutes of supervised
     fresh air.
     

     
    "White is obviously not a good color for us. My name's Meg."
    She pointed to the white gauze secured around my wrist and then held up her own wrapped
     arm.
    "We're like the Wonder Twins. Powers activate!"
    She bumped her wrist against my own and made the sound of an explosion when she moved
     hers away then plopped down on the bench next to me.
    "Too bad they don't have pink to match my slippers," she said dejectedly as we both
     look down at the fuzzy bunny slippers on her feet.
     

     
    Meg and I were in separate therapy groups while we were there, so I never found out
     what the cause of her suicide attempt was, which I guess is a good thing because that
     means she doesn't know my secrets either. It's easy to be friends with someone who
     doesn't know about the demons chasing you.
    On the day I was released, I saw Meg again outside smoking a cigarette while I waited
     for a taxi to take me home. I bummed one off of her, even though I don't smoke, because
     she looked like she needed some