Village Gossip Read Free

do know how to do things proper.’
    This offer was greeted with enthusiasm by Hugo. ‘My dear Lady Bissett, of course I shall be delighted to attend. It will be the highlight of my social whirl.’ Hugo looked across at Harriet and made his excuses to Lady Bissett.
    ‘Oh! he’s coming over. I’ll introduce you.’
    Her eyes fixed on Hugo, Caroline muttered, ‘I feel ridiculously nervous. Perhaps I shouldn’t.’
    Harriet did the honours and stood back a little to watch. Hugo took hold of Caroline’s hand and raised it to his lips.
    ‘My dear Caroline, what a privilege.’ His voice, more suited to Stratford than Turnham Malpas, turned Caroline’s knees to jelly. This gesture of his, this kissing of her hand and the holding of it for longer than was really necessary brought the eyes of the entire congregation to rest on her.
She blushed, and she hadn’t blushed for years. When in her consulting room, people confided in her the most intimate details of their lives and she never batted an eyelid, never blushed, never ever. And yet here she was behaving like an empty-headed teenager.
    ‘How do you do? I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been so ill. We’ll have to hope that the peace and quiet here will …’
    ‘I shan’t hasten to get well, not with charming people like you in the village.’ Caroline appeared to have been pole-axed.
    Harriet felt the need to intervene. ‘Caroline’s a doctor.’
    ‘In that case, if I’m taken ill I shall be able to rely on you to cool my fevered brow.’
    ‘I don’t know about that, you see …’
    Hugo dismissed her hesitation with a sweeping gesture of his hand. ‘I won’t hear of you refusing to come to my aid. I cannot forgo the thrill of your stethoscope pressed to my manly chest.’ There were muffled giggles from someone way behind him and Caroline blushed even redder.
    ‘I was going to say that it’s not medical etiquette for me to attend another doctor’s patient.’
    Hugo struck a pose, one hand on his heart and the other clasping his forehead. ‘Not even in an emergency! Am I cast out from all medical assistance to die miserably and alone for the sake of etiquette ?’ The last word, delivered with passion, and loud enough to wake Jimmy’s geese on the village pond, fell on the delighted ears of the entire congregation. It had been some time since they had enjoyed so much free entertainment.
    Harriet, catching the appalled expression in Jimbo’s eyes, said abruptly, ‘For heaven’s sakes, Hugo, you’re not that ill. Come on home, the children need feeding. Help me round them up.’
Hugo gave Caroline a huge wink, bunched his fingers, kissed them and trotted meekly after his friend.
    With his mother on his arm Jimbo passed close by Caroline as Hugo left. Jimbo’s mother wore severe disapproval across every inch of her perfectly made-up face. She and Caroline had long ago patched up their differences but it appeared that in one brief moment of time their friendship had been shattered. With a sharp nod of recognition replacing her normally gracious conversation she swept by. Jimbo raised his eyes to heaven and shrugged his shoulders apologetically.
    The congregation began to disperse. Peter had disappeared inside to remove his surplice, Willie was waiting to lock up, the twins were chasing each other among the gravestones and Caroline realised it was time she remembered her duty.
    ‘Alex, Beth! Come quickly now! We’ll get the kettle on, Daddy will be wanting his coffee.’
    ‘Mummy! That man kissed you.’
    ‘Yes, Beth, he did.’
    ‘What will Daddy say?’
    Ever at the ready to pour scorn on Beth’s statements, Alex replied, ‘Daddy won’t mind. After all, he only kissed her hand.’
    ‘I know, but he shouldn’t. He’s cheeky. She’s my Mummy.’ Beth squeezed hold of Caroline’s hand and kissed it herself.
    ‘And she’s mine, and I say he can kiss her hand.’
    ‘Well, I don’t. I shall ask Daddy if he minds.’
    ‘No, darling,