Two or Three Things I Forgot to Tell You Read Free Page B

hadn’t known. (But maybe she had guessed?)
    For the girls at Quaker Heights, maybe for the guys, too, Tink Traumer had shown the way. You didn’t have to like Tink—in fact, Tink had more detractors than admirers, by far—but you had to admit, Tink Traumer had not only taken her own life in her hands , she’d had the guts to throw that life away .
    This week of GOOD NEWS was making Merissa sick, finally. Just so many times you can smile and say, “Thank you!” when someone congratulates you—at a point, you want to say, “Please just leave me alone! It will never happen again.”
    High grades, class offices, yearbook staff, field hockey, girls’ chorus, Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice , every honor list you can think of, plus, now, early admission at Brown—she was feeling guilty, selfish.
    Like her belly bloated with Diet Coke. Just— disgusting .
    Still, Daddy was proud of her. And if Daddy was proud of Merissa, that meant that Merissa was all right to keep going, for a while at least.
    (Secretly) lifting her shirt, to check on the most recent cut.
    Just a small cross, on her upper abdomen, each stitchlike scab about an inch long. Already Merissa had forgotten why she’d cut herself there—what the particular reason was scarcely mattered—but it looked good. Healing, and not infected.
    And if she prodded it with the tip of the paring knife, a quicksilver flamelike pain leapt from the tiny wound like a muted shout.
    Now Merissa was happy.
    â€œâ€˜Congratulations!’”

6.
    (PUNISHMENT!)
    At 7:20 p.m. Merissa went downstairs, finally.
    Wondering why her mother hadn’t called her to help with dinner.
    (Hadn’t that been the plan? What was going on?)
    After all the good news. Merissa Carmichael among the elite .
    After Daddy hugging her and telling her, Knew you’d come through, Merissa! That’s my girl.
    Of course, this was nothing to be upset about. Morgan Carmichael was a very busy man.
    Except if Daddy loves me. Loves us.
    What happened to Tink will not happen to me.
    Too distracted to focus on homework, she’d been wasting time before dinner texting her friends, whom she’d seen just hours before and of whom one—Nadia Stillinger—had lately a habit of texting Merissa back within seconds, as if Nadia was very, very lonely or very, very anxious, and such obvious neediness made Merissa feel mean.
    Merissa didn’t want to get into that —whatever it was.
    â€œMom, why? I mean—why not? Where is Daddy?”
    â€œI—I think he had to go back to the office, honey. He’d been on the phone almost since he came home. He said—I think he said—it was some sort of ‘quarterly dividend crisis.’ Or maybe—”
    Merissa stopped listening. She wanted to clamp her hands over her ears.
    So often this had been happening, since September. So often, Daddy was working late at the office—away all weekend on business.
    A hot flush of shame came into Merissa’s face.
    â€œIt’s all right, Mom. It’s cool. No problem.”
    â€œWe can eat in the kitchen, Merissa, or if you’d like to watch TV—”
    â€œI’m not hungry, Mom. I wasn’t really hungry anyway.”
    As if she could eat! When punishment was needed, clearly—fasting as well as cutting.
    â€œDaddy asked me to tell you, to be sure to explain, that he was called away ‘unavoidably’—he’ll make it up this weekend.”
    Merissa thought, Mom is lying. Mom is scared. Just like me.
    â€œWhy couldn’t Daddy tell me himself? I was just upstairs in my room. He just saw me an hour ago.”
    Embarrassingly, Merissa’s voice was childish, whining. Tink would be surprised—was this the Perfect One? Was this the girl everyone had been envying this week at Quaker Heights Day School?
    â€œWell, there are these sudden emergencies, Merissa. Things happen out of