doesn’t change the way my heart feels. Knowing doesn’t take away the guilt, the sadness, the what-could’ve-been. My brother is gone. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him. But fuck if I don’t feel like a total bitch for not being there, for not somehow stopping him from slowly killing himself.
Zane chose to leave. I get that he had his reasons. Whatever the fuck they are. Fine. Plus, he gave me Cruze’s phone number. He might as well have said “I don’t want you anymore.” I’ve wanted to get to know the gorgeous man in front of me for weeks. Now’s my chance. I refuse to fuck it up. Regret is a stupid emotion.
“Not really,” I reply, pulling the towel off my hair and squeezing the soft terry cloth against the ends of my hair.
Cruze takes it from me and continues massaging it into my scalp. The sensation is amazing. I turn and face the bathroom mirror, ignore the haunted look in my eyes, and watch Cruze. God, he’s gorgeous. Long lashes and a perfectly sculpted face are minor assets compared to his kissable lips. His brows are crunched together as he focuses. Water glistens on his naked body and enhances his muscles when they flex and move.
He steps closer, pressing his cock against my lower back. It’s hard. I suddenly want him again, want his cock inside my pussy. I tilt my hips and press my ass against him. He looks up, sees my reflection, and smiles. Drops the towel to the floor and grabs my hips.
He slaps me playfully on the ass. An immediate jolt of pleasure shoots to my pussy. Zane’s words: “You’ll only want to fuck when there’s pain,” flits through my mind.
“Do it again,” I whisper, my voice hoarse.
Cruze raises an eyebrow. “What?”
I swallow. “Spank me, Cruze. Hard.” I press my ass against his stiff cock. His eyes darken.
His large palm comes down on my ass and I close my eyes. My thighs quiver. “Again.”
He does it again.
“Fuck me, Cruze.”
He reaches for another condom, puts it on, then spreads my thighs and shoves his cock inside. I shudder at the pleasure. He slams into me again and again, his hands on my hips.
I open my eyes and catch him watching me in the mirror. He slows and pulls out.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
Cruze takes me by the hand and walks me out of the bathroom. His huge cock is still at attention. He wants to fuck, but I’m confused.
He sits on the edge of the bed and pulls me onto his lap.
“I care about you, Cadence. This is more than fucking to me.” His face is soft, but serious. Urgent.
The pain, the numbness collecting around my heart shatters. I touch his face, trailing my fingers along the contours. “I’m sorry.”
He kisses me softly on the mouth. “Don’t be. I just wanted you to know.” He kisses me again, sliding his tongue in my mouth.
I press my pussy over his shaft. He moans.
“God, Cadence. You feel so good,” he says against my mouth.
“So do you.”
He pulls back, searching my face. I put my hands on his chest and push him back. “Remember lunch? Twenty questions? What you asked me.”
He lies down. “Of course. I asked if you’d ride my cock.”
“That’s right,” I say and move my pussy slowly up and down.
“Holy fuck, Cade.”
I love that he’s suddenly calling me Cade. Only Jessica has ever used that nickname. When it rolls off his tongue my knees quiver. I get off my knees and put one foot on either side of him. It gives my more control over how deep and fast I can move. I grab him by the shoulders and slam into him.
His eyes widen.
I move up slowly, allowing my pussy to caress his cock. When the tip is just inside I slam into him again. His fingers grab hold of my breasts and he squeezes my nipples. I throw my head back.
“Fuck.”
I crash into him several more times until I feel he’s about to come, then I get back into a kneeling position and go even deeper. My orgasm is close and I press him deeper and deeper inside.
“I’m going to come. Fuck, Cade, I’m