Truly Tasteless Jokes Three Read Free Page B

and getting ready to leave. “What the hell do you clowns think you’re doing?” he shouts.
    “Hey listen,” say the Poles, “we ain’t working without no lights.”
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    What’s transparent and lies in the gutter?
A Pakistani with the shit kicked out of him.
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    Why aren’t there any swimming pools in Mexico?
Because all the Mexicans who can swim are in the U.S.
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    Why did the Mexicans fight so hard to take the Alamo?
So they could have four clean walls to write on.
    *
    Definition of a Mexican wolf:
Hot tamale looking for a frijole.
    *
    Why do Mexicans eat beans every day?
So they can take a bubble bath at night.
    *
    Have you heard about the new Mexican war movie?
It’s called A Tacolips Now.
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    Why do Indians wear jock straps?
Totem pole.
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    What do you call an Oriental person on Quaaludes?
A mello-yellow.
    *
    What’s the Chinese word for watermelon?
Coon-chow.
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    How many sand-niggers (Arabs) does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: One to hold the bulb and two to turn the stool. But they need a foreign advisor to tell them it was burned out.
    *
    In Greece, how do they separate the men from the boys?
With a crowbar.
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    What’s the Greek army’s motto?
“Never Leave Your Buddy’s Behind.”
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    How do you distinguish the clans in Scotland?
If there’s a quarter-pounder under his kilt, he’s a MacDonald.
    *
    What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?
One less drunken Irishman.
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    What do Arabs do on a Saturday night?
Sit under palm trees and eat their dates.
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    What positions do WASPs fuck in?
“POSITIONS?!?”
    *
    An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, anchovies, etc.), and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and time again Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed.
    “Abdul, you bastard son of an ugly camel, where is my water?” demanded the Grand Emir.
    “A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One,” stammered the wretched Abdul. “White man sit on well.”
    *
    Did you know that 85% of all Japanese men have cataracts?
The rest drive Rincolns and Chevlorets.
    *
    The sheriff arrived at the scene of the horrible accident just as his deputy, all alone, was climbing down from the controls of a bulldozer. “Say, Junior, what’s goin’ on?” asked the sheriff.
    “A bus full of migrant workers went out of control and over the cliff, and I just finished burying ‘em,” explained the deputy.
    “Good work, boy,” said the sheriff. “Pretty gory work—were all of ‘em dead?”
    Junior nodded sadly and said, “Some of ‘em said they weren’t, but you know how them Mexicans lie.”
    *
    What’s gross ignorance?
One hundred and forty-four Irishmen.
    *
    When a Polish immigrant moved to a small town in Georgia, he asked one of the locals what they did for amusement.
    “Why, we go down to the bowlin’ alley and beat up Negroes,” came the casual reply.
    That night, the Pole followed his new friend to the bowling alley. Sure enough, a group of blacks came in, and the Georgia boys started beating them up.
    Anxious to please his new friends, the Pole took a club and commenced smashing bowling balls.
    “What in hell are you doin’?” asked one of the startled Georgians.
    “You get the adults,” replied the agitated Pole, “and I’ll take care of the eggs!”
    *
    An Italian, an American, and a Pole were to be executed by a firing squad. The Italian was called up first. “Ready . . . Aim . . .” The Italian, thinking quickly, shouted, “TORNADO ! ! !” Every man ran for cover and the Italian escaped. The American went up next. “Ready . . . Aim . . .” “HURRICANE ! ! !” he shouted, and the American escaped.
    The Pole went next. He was wondering what to say. “Ready . . . Aim . . . FIRE!”
    *
    What is a