True Read Free

Jessica’s asleep.”
    Great. All I wanted to do was retreat to our dorm and cry in my bed, but Jessica was taking a post-coital nap. It was bold for me, but I decided to accept his offer, even though I knew I was putting him out. “Yeah, if you don’t mind.”
    “Sure, no problem. Just let me get my keys.” He made a face. “And a shirt. It’s cold out there for October.”
    He went back into the bedroom and when he came out, Jessica was actually with him. “Rory, are you okay?” She rushed over to me, blond hair flying behind her, dressed in men’s pajama pants and a huge sweatshirt. “Tyler told me what happened.”
    Her arms wrapped around me and I let her hug me, grateful for the contact and her concern.
    “What an asshole. If I see him, I’m going to cut his dick off and shove it down his throat. Let’s see how he likes cock crammed in his mouth.”
    Her vehemence made me feel better. “I should have . . .” I started—but then stopped myself. I should have what? I shouldn’t have done anything differently. I was just sitting in my chair and he made a world of assumptions and I said no, and that was the truth of it. I wasn’t going to blame myself that he’d taken a fist to the face.
    “No, screw that,” Jessica said. “You didn’t do anything wrong. And I’m sorry I left you alone with that prick.”
    “I’ll be right back,” Tyler said, his phone buzzing in his hand. He retreated into the bedroom as Kylie came out, her hair a hot mess, makeup streaked.
    “What’s going on?”
    “Grant tried to rape Rory,” Jessica said in such a loud, matter-of-fact voice I couldn’t help but wince.
    “What? Are you effing kidding me?” Kylie could have been Jessica’s twin. They were both tall, blond, tan, toned. They were getting vague degrees in Gen Ed and would probably wind up wedding planners and golf wives, while I was intending to go to med school to be a coroner. I was more comfortable with dead people than living ones. But for whatever reason, Kylie and Jessica liked me. And I liked them. Their reaction cemented that feeling. They both looked like if they had had a baseball bat and five minutes alone with Grant, he’d wish he’d never been born.
    I didn’t want to fight Grant. I just wanted to forget it had ever happened. “I did kiss him,” I said, because I felt guilty for that. That was leading him on, a little.
    “So? A kiss is not a promise of pussy,” Kylie said.
    She was right. “I know,” I said, miserable, confused, stomach upset. I sat down on the end table, looking at my boots. “But I mean, it’s not like I haven’t thought about being with Grant. I have. But he was so . . . and I don’t want it, my first time, to be like this . . . and I should have done . . . something.”
    So much for telling myself I wasn’t going to do that. There I was, worried, feeling like I’d had some part in what had happened.
    “Your first time? Wait a minute, are you saying you’re a virgin?” Jessica was staring at me blankly. “For real?”
    Oops. I hadn’t really meant to share that. It wasn’t exactly a deep, dark secret, and it really couldn’t have been that much of a shock to her, but it wasn’t necessarily something I wanted to go around talking about. “Um. Yes. I just haven’t . . .”
    Had the opportunity.
    “There hasn’t been anyone . . .” I reached for the beer Tyler had abandoned and took a sip. I was drunk, but not nearly enough to not suddenly feel completely and totally middle school mortified.
    “Oh.” Kylie looked bewildered. “Well, that’s cool. Lots of girls make that choice.”
    “It hasn’t been a choice. Not exactly. I mean, if I could, I think I would.” I did. I was twenty, and I had all the same physical feelings as other people. Just no one to explore them with. In a way that wasn’t a quickie on the stained carpet.
    “Well, why can’t you?” Jessica asked.
    “Because no one is offering. I guess technically