Timothy 02: Tim2 Read Free

I mean, even more so than a dead guy should, but it was still me. I had one missing eye and two bullet holes in my head. I was covered in filth and…oh shit! I just remembered that I had even lost my penis. That is not something easily forgotten about or gotten over. I was truly going to miss myself.
    “Hey, Maurice!”
    “Clarence.”
    “Whatever.”
    “Let me see your dick.”
    “What?”
    “Hey listen I’m not into guys or anything, but I figure since we’re now in this together I might as well see what we’re packing.”
    “There’re zombies around!” he wailed.
    “I didn’t say pull it out and play with it. I just want to see it. I lost mine in an unfortunate hunting accident and it’s kind of nice to know I have one again.”
    “It’s mine!” he said fiercely.
    “We’ll see.”
    His head swiveled down as he first spent some practiced time shifting the enormity of his stomach around and then pulled the elastic of his waistband out.
    “Tightie whities? Really? Nobody wears those things anymore. And from the looks of them, doesn’t look like you’ve cleaned them very often.”
    “I was scared,” he replied.
    “Pull the band further. I can’t see anything down there. What’s it doing, hiding? That’s it?” I told him as he grasped it in his thumb and forefinger. “I’ve seen bigger cocktail weenies.”
    “Who the hell are you!” he screamed indignantly.
    Funny , I thought, guy was a heartbeat away from crapping himself from fear, but question his manhood and he was a half a step away from becoming Rambo .
    “Calm down, Diggler. I’m sure the women folk found you...adequate.”
    He paused. I figured he would retort with ‘Damn straight’ or something equally as inane. Still nothing. “Whoa…wait, the zombie apocalypse comes and you’re STILL a virgin? Why didn’t you screw that little honey you came out here with?”
    “STOP!” he screamed. “SHE’S SPECIAL!”
    “Oh, you have a hard on for her, don’t you? Not that she’d be able to tell, mind you, but you’ve got something for her! We can fix all of this!” I told him with glee.
    “Please don’t hurt her.”
    “We are going to have so much fun together,” I told him.
     
    ***
     
    The problem right now was I didn’t know how I was going to accomplish anything. All I knew was that I was just a voice in this guy’s head. I couldn’t make him do anything. I mean, at least in the traditional ‘I control him’ sense. I was pretty sure indirectly I could make him do almost anything, like a puppet. But I don’t want to be a puppet master. I want to run the whole show.
    And then it kind of hit me. Clarisse here wasn’t quite a zombie yet. Yeah, the virus, germ, worm, whatever Hugh is, was in him and even now probably gaining momentum. Building up and overwhelming his immune system. Sure, when he became a zombie, me and Hugh would become a team again! Happy Days!
    “Hey, Clarisse!” I shouted.
    “It’s Clarence!” he shouted out.
    “How you feeling?” I asked him.
    “Why?” he asked cautiously.
    “Hey…listen, man, we’re in this together now. I just want to see how you’re doing.”
    “I feel fine mostly except for this crazy fucking voice in my head, and where that zombie’s tooth snagged me is stinging like a bitch. Can you just tell me who you are?”
    “I’m the zombie that bit you.”
    He cried out. “I wasn’t bitten!”
    “I beg to differ.”
    “Why are you in me?”
    “Well, that part I’m not too sure of. Hugh did something.”
    “Who’s Hugh?”
    “No wonder why you never got laid. You talk too much. You’re giving me a fucking headache and I don’t even have a head. Alright, I’m going to run through this with you. I was a powerful CEO of a Fortune 500 company (what’s he going to do? Fact check me?) My hot-ass wife was having a birthday party for our daughter. She was a protégé, pianist. (I hoped that was the right word). Anyway, one of the little brats at the party was sick