The Yellow Papers Read Free Page B

tail!’ one of the boys called out. The others in the room took up the chant: Cut the tail! Cut the tail!
    â€˜Alright,’ Chen Mu laughed, ‘cut the tail.’

    He sat late into the night copying the historical text that was his punishment for cutting his queue. He didn’t mind – his punishment was mild, and he liked his hair short. It was the same with the Western clothes Xi Tang had lent him until he could buy his own – they too had felt strange for the first couple of days, but now he liked the way trousers gave his legs more freedom than the robes. He chewed on the end of his pen and wondered what his mother would say if she saw him now – would she even recognise him? When he thought back to the boy he had been, there were times when even he didn’t recognise himself …
    The door of the classroom opened and a tutor came in. Chen Mu rose and bowed.
    â€˜Sit down, Chen Mu, sit down …’ he said as he pulled a chair to Chen Mu’s desk.
    Chen Mu frowned – this was not normal protocol.
    â€˜Have you nearly finished this task?’
    Chen Mu nodded.
    â€˜Good. Good. You are a good student, Chen Mu. Director Ngen – well, all of us, really – we’re pleased with your progress …’
    â€˜Thank you.’
    â€˜Yes, very pleased. Your mother would have been proud …’
    â€˜She says she is. I received a letter last week—’
    â€˜Yes, yes, we know. Chen Mu, about your mother – I believe she hadn’t been well for some time …’
    Chen Mu stared at the tutor. Hadn’t been well? Would have been proud?
    â€˜My mother is dead?’
    The tutor looked away, and the silence between them grew. Then Chen Mu remembered the pus and blood in the shit-pot, and knew that deep inside he had been expecting this news for some time.
    â€˜I need to go home. I have to perform my duties as her son.’
    The tutor shook his head. ‘Young Chen, such a trip would cost a lot of money. I don’t think it possible …’
    Under the desk Chen Mu clenched his fists in an attempt to control his growing anger and frustration. They couldn’t stop him. They had to let him go; there was no question about it.
    â€˜And who would accompany you? You cannot travel alone.’
    â€˜Yes I can. I’m thirteen – a man already. I have to go.’
    â€˜I don’t think—’
    â€˜I have to!’ Chen Mu stood, knocking his chair backwards. The tutor raised a hand to calm him but Chen Mu felt tears forming and knew he couldn’t let the tutor see these. He ran out of the room.
    He curled up beneath the blankets of his bed and cried, as much from frustration as from grief, but when the tutor came to check on him he pretended to be asleep so as not to lose face.
    When the tutor left he pulled the blankets off his head and stared at the shadows on the ceiling. He hadn’t even been told if the Imperial Almanac had been consulted – if his mother had died on a lucky or unlucky day. Had her soul been brought back from the temple of T’u-ti Lao-yeh? Who had burnt the papers to the ten kings of Hades, and to the god of the dragon chariot to help her soul on its journey through the nether world? Without these pieces of yellow paper from the priests, how could her soul find safe passage to the gates of Paradise?
    Then he had another thought which frightened him even as it shamed him – tradition had it that the children of a deceased person should not cut their hair for forty-nine days after the death. He hadn’t been told the exact day his mother died, but he had to have cut his queue after his mother’s death. So now it was more important than ever that he perform his duties for her soul.
    But even as he thought this he knew that there was nothing he could do. Xi Tang had nicknamed him well – he felt like a mouse in a trap, and slowly grief turned to anger. He swore never to