The Witch Within Read Free Page A

tears.
    I allow myself to cry a whole river, but then anger spills over me. I'm angry with the elder tree lady and her deceit!
    Later, I fall asleep on the moss, resting my head on the comfortable green pillow. I dream of the elder tree lady. She rises from the strong old trunk and speaks softly:
    “It is not up to me, dear child,
    whether someone lives or dies.
    You were all granted with the greatest gift - free will.
    No one can ever take it away if you don’t allow it.
    We the spirits of the woods will guide you to the cave.
    Be aware of the harsh man who wears a dark cape
    And the woman with a big mole.
    These two will soon test your soul.”
    Her face is wrinkly, hair dark green, and her dress pale brown, however, it's clear that her frown is not devious, but wise.
    “Speak to the moon, listen to the sun,
    speak to the sun, listen to the moon.”
    Once the elder tree lady pronounces the words, she closes her eyes and becomes one with her tree again.
     
    *
     
    This morning I caught myself striding with vigour. After all, there is a goal ahead of me - the cave that lies in the middle of this forest. Grandmother used to secretly go there and sometimes even stayed the night. I was the only one who knew about it. I used to beg her to take me with her, but she insisted that she would take me there only once I was ready.
    I believe I’m going to find it, because I still have my guide, the deer. Whenever I go astray, he appears and assures me I'm safe. The cave I'm looking for could be considered a mysterious castle of our ancestors. My grandmother said it's protected by the circle of the elders, the women sorceresses who used to nourish and take care of others, including animals and plants of these lands. They used to pray in there, rested when they were feeling down, prayed and performed divine rituals in harmony with nature and the guiding spirits of the previous sorceresses.
    Thank God I have opened my heart to my grandmother and the memories that have vivified since! It's my only salvation now.
    I open my heart to God a little more as well, but I'm still concerned as to if I perceive him in the right way and if he is really a HE or there is some heavenly mother as well. My mother used to say that I should pray to Virgin Mary every night and so I did, but I always found myself wondering how it is possible that she is a virgin. Why is she a virgin? Why is it heavenly to conceive immaculately? Is there something wrong with an ordinary conception, with the ordinary nature of women? I wish I could ask my grandmother now, but nothing related to this theme is stored in my library of memories. I suppose I never asked her about that. And I don’t have to worry about it anymore anyway. I will probably remain a virgin until the end of my life, live here as a chaste maiden with no husband and no children to nourish. It’s not like there is a chance of marriage in the village. Although I turned sixteen last month, I have never really taken an interest in any boy and no boy has seemed to take an interest in me. I don’t know if it is because of my short, weak figure, unruly straw-coloured hair or deep black eyes that some find too intense, maybe it’s simply because I have always been considered a bit of an outcast. I used to play alone, or cling to animals more than to fellow children.
    I remember that my father often warned me that I should not communicate with beasts because I could call their temptation upon me. I have never understood what he meant. I didn’t find sheep, goats, cows or wild cats scary. I used to fear wolves, though.It was because the emaciated wolf packs often descended from the mountains and attacked our village. Whenever the time of the wolf attacks came upon us, we would close ourselves at home and lock all the doors.
    One sullen afternoon, I witnessed a boy being attacked by one of those beasts. He was acting out a heroic scene in front of his brothers, showing off that he was not afraid to be outside