removed. “What?”
She glanced at the floor, abashed. “Miro told me you have one. I’m not upset like he is. I think it’s fine to keep some secrets to yourself. Especially if you’re trying to protect someone.”
“That’s not what I was doing,” I said, flopping on the bed. “Or maybe it was, just . . . not right now.”
Shelley snapped the window screen back in place. “I could go with you.”
“Thanks, but—”
“It’s not up to Miro whether I get involved or not,” Shelley said. “He told you to leave me out of things, didn’t he?”
“Like you said, sometimes we keep things from people to protect them,” I said, thinking of my parents and all they’d kept from me.
“Dobra and Miro took my mom and me in when we needed help, but that doesn’t allow them to run my life. I still make my own decisions.”
“I appreciate that, but it’s not your decision to make,” I said as gently as possible. Miro’s voice sounded in my head. Don’t involve her. Part of me knew he was right, and part of me agreed with Shelley. I didn’t like other people making decisions for me, so why should she?
“You shouldn’t be out alone,” Shelley insisted, further breaking my resolve. “I saw you in the garden today, Breeda. You don’t know what you’re doing yet. You need me and I like to be needed, okay?”
If I said yes, Miro would be upset, and rightfully so. Still, I could relate to Shelley’s desire to control her life. I knew Miro was being protective of her, but shouldn’t Shelley be allowed to choose?
“Okay,” I said finally. “I was going to Sandy’s apartment. She’s already met you, so it’s probably not a big deal if you come with. Can we get out of here without anyone noticing? It shouldn’t take long.”
Shelley brightened. “Sneak out the front door while Miro’s cleaning up. I’ll tell him I’m heading home.”
Inside, I cringed at the deception. But my reservations didn’t stop me from grabbing my bag and heading for the door.
The rain had given way to a cool, pleasant evening, and Chicago’s streets were teeming with life. Everyone moved with purpose, smiling and dressed to be noticed. Shelley’s blond curls were piled on top of her head, tendrils falling artfully to her shoulders. Her white, tiered skirt brushed the sidewalk with every sway of her hips. Men stopped midstride to watch her cross the street, but she barely noticed, her attention focused on me. “We can take a break,” she offered when I slackened our pace. I was still exhausted from training with Miro. “Maybe sit down for a while?”
I shook my head, slowly, like a windup toy running out of steam.
“Training during the transition is difficult for everyone,” Shelley said gently. “Don’t think it’s just you.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said, trying to regulate my breathing.
“I know you will be,” she said quickly. “Miro worked you too hard for your first session, though. He knows what he’s doing but he’s still an ass.”
I smiled at her. “I don’t think I gave him an easy time of it.”
Shelley threaded her arm through mine and leaned in. “I don’t think he minded,” she said, her eyes sparkling.
I stopped, pulling her back awkwardly.
“What?” she said, laughing. “You feel it, too. I can tell.”
What did I feel? Everything and nothing. My emotions churned close to the surface—I could cry any second, or lash out in anger, or tumble into a deep and all-consuming kind of love. It was dangerous and frightening and tempting. But was it real? I knew who I was back in Oregon. My nerves twisted when I thought about how different I was after just a few days here. Would Brandon notice the change in me?
I tried to focus my mind on the task at hand as we rounded the corner. St. Sylvester’s spire pierced the late-afternoon sky. As we walked toward the church, I spotted Father Brennan sitting on the steps, sipping from a huge Starbucks cup. In the diminishing