The VMR Theory (v1.1) Read Free

you.”
    “Swell,” I said.
    Crenshaw leaned over and pinched my cheek. “I just love it when you’re enthusiastic, MacKay. I keep wondering what Catarina sees in you.” She paused. “I’ve asked her to get her eyes checked.”
    To fill an otherwise pregnant silence, I asked, “What are we actually supposed to do on Alt Bauernhot?”
    “We need you to get one of our local agents out, a scientist who works on their naval armaments. Call him Dr. Blok.” Crenshaw passed across a thick packet of materials. “He’s under suspicion, and we haven’t been able to contact him.”
    I glanced through the pictures in the packet. “Have you tried an ad in the personals?”
    Crenshaw said pointedly, “Catarina darlin’, will you get your dopey boyfriend here flying straight? Blok is important. Everybody except the Foreign Office knows that the Macdonalds are building up their navy quicker than rabbits breed. We need the details from Blok. If the two of you can smuggle him out in that bucket of bolts you laughingly call a ship, we’ll be in a position to have the Foreign Office tell the Macdonalds to stop. Or else.” She smiled at the prospect of “or else.”
    “If we fly in with the lights on our hull practically spelling out ‘Confederation Naval Intelligence,’ Blok should try to get in touch with us,” Catarina observed for my benefit.
    “Ma’am, shouldn’t we have a plan or something?” I asked timidly, glancing through the packet.
    “MacKay, if I actually gave you a nice, detailed plan, would you actually follow it?”
    “No, but Yd feel better.”
    Crenshaw showed me her teeth in what was intended to be a reassuring gesture. “MacKay, the minute I met you, I knew you were a natural for intelligence work.”
    “Not real bright,” I admitted.
    “Like I said, a natural.” She chucked me under the chin. “You know, MacKay, I made the connection between you and the VMR Theory about fourteen seconds after you volunteered your services to Navy Intelligence by threatening to bite me on the neck if I didn’t fix your ship and let Catarina ship out with you. And yes, I do hold grudges.”
    I nodded and looked at Catarina, who was practicing her Mona Lisa smile. “Uh, what are the odds on the Macdonalds peaceably letting us go after we arrive?”
    “The whiz kids and computers back on Earth say that there’s at least a nineteen percent chance,” Crenshaw said jovially. “Bunch of wishful thinkers, aren’t they? Concentrate on getting Blok out. Any other havoc you cause while you’re there is pure profit. Given your talent for creating mayhem, I figure you’ll convince the Macdonalds that if there is a Vampire Master Race, it’s nothing to mess with.”
    I asked Catarina, “You have any idea how we’re going to get out of this alive?”
    “Just remember, shorty,” Crenshaw cautioned, “you’re doing this for truth, for justice, for peace and eternal fellowship in the galaxy, and I forget how the rest of it goes.”
    “Why do I feel like this is PBS pledge week?” I thought for a minute. “What can I tell my crew?”
    “Nothing. They’re not cleared for it.”
    “That settles it.” I decided to see what would happen if I tried to avoid getting killed for a change. “Catarina and I may have volunteered to go off on suicide missions, but I can’t drag my crew into this blind. Count me out.”
    “Ken—” Catarina said.
    I didn’t wait for her to finish. I’ve learned to move quickly when the situation demands it, and I headed for the door before Crenshaw could twist my arm, either figuratively or literally. As I emerged into the saloon, the bartender caught me by the elbow. “Senhor, I am so very sorry. We have not a single bottle of mineral water in the house with a cap on. Have a beer instead.” He grimaced as if the words were being pulled out of him with tongs. “On the house.”
    “Thanks, I appreciate the offer, but I’m in a hurry and-—”
    His eyes narrowed. “You