repository of her innermost thoughts. But I wasn’t. I’d been fooled. Kept in the dark. Lulled and diverted. But no longer! I resolved to change. Then and there, Imade a vow to pay attention, to find out, to learn those truths that the grown-ups tried to hide. I will know things, I promised myself. I will get to the bottom of everything. Starting now.
I was just clenching my jaw with resolve when I felt a tug on my sleeve. There was Bird, her curls stuck to her head with sweat. “That Trudy Kane is going to dance again. I want to see and Mae says she’s going to have a stroke if she has to watch Trudy Kane one more time, so you got to come with me.” Bird was trying to learn how to tap dance by watching Miss Trudy Kane. She could already shuffle off to Buffalo on a washtub. She yanked my arm. “Come on.”
I looked do-I-have-to at Jottie. She nodded.
“I don’t see how I’m supposed to keep my ear to the ground when I have to spend every blessed moment of my life following Bird around,” I said bitterly.
Jottie was peering into the windows of Krohn’s Department Store, but she turned to grin at me. “What you need is some of that Macedonian virtue,” she said. “You just summon up a little ferocity and devotion, and you’ll find out more than you ever wanted to know.” She turned back to the windows.
Bird yanked on me again, but I stood stock-still. Jottie was right. Macedonian virtue was exactly what I needed.
2
May 17, 1938
Rosy,
Please forgive—can’t come to luncheon. Father on warpath: Nelson, sloth, poorhouse, et cetera. Speaks ominously of work. Must stay home and knit socks to make good impression.
Layla
Ben,
Layla needs a job. Can I send her to you?
Affect ly ,
Gray
May 19, 1938
Senator Grayson Beck
Senate Office Bldg.
Washington, D.C.
Dear Gray,
No.
Sincerely,
Ben
May 20, 1938
Mr. Benjamin Beck
WPA/Federal Writers’ Project
1734 New York Ave. NW
Washington, D.C.
Dear Ben,
I am disappointed by your answer. It reveals a lack of brotherly feeling, and a poor memory to boot. Think back, Ben. Think back to 1924. I did not think that it would be necessary to remind you of the time, the money, and the reputation I expended for your sake
and without question
during that summer, but evidently I was mistaken. Perhaps the jail cell has become hallowed in your memory, or perhaps you believe that the judge was inspired to lenience by your worthy ideals. Don’t fool yourself. You owe me.
What time shall I send her up? Tuesday at 2:00?
Gray
May 21, 1938
Senator Grayson Beck
S.O.B.
Washington, D.C.
Dear Gray,
Tuesday at 2 is fine. What job do you want me to give her?
Ben
5/23/38
Ben,
I don’t give a good goddamn what job you give her. I want her out of the house and off my dime.
Affect ly ,
Gray
[Telegram]
May 23, 1938
Charles: Please meet 11:32 tonight. Must talk. Situation dire. One solution possible. Love. Layla
May 25, 1938
Layla—
I’m sorry you were crying when I saw you off. It disfigures you to give way to tears. Not your face—I consider your beauty your least significant attribute—but your mind and your soul. You dread work; you fear it, but this terror is the delusion of your class. Work is noble. It dignifies; it elevates the spirit. I can imagine no better fate for you than to learn firsthand the transcendent effects of labor; you, who sucked the platitudes and superficialities of your class with your mother’s milk, can only exterminate the false consciousness that permeates your existence by making common cause with the laboring men and women of this country. Throw yourself on the mercies of work, Layla. A period of shock is to be expected, but in due time, you’ll find true companionship in the hearty clasp of callused hands; in labor, you’ll find nourishment for your underused mind and deserving objects for your uncontrolled emotions. As you rise from the ashes of your degenerate life, you’ll see your banal nuptial dreams for
I was just clenching my jaw with resolve when I felt a tug on my sleeve. There was Bird, her curls stuck to her head with sweat. “That Trudy Kane is going to dance again. I want to see and Mae says she’s going to have a stroke if she has to watch Trudy Kane one more time, so you got to come with me.” Bird was trying to learn how to tap dance by watching Miss Trudy Kane. She could already shuffle off to Buffalo on a washtub. She yanked my arm. “Come on.”
I looked do-I-have-to at Jottie. She nodded.
“I don’t see how I’m supposed to keep my ear to the ground when I have to spend every blessed moment of my life following Bird around,” I said bitterly.
Jottie was peering into the windows of Krohn’s Department Store, but she turned to grin at me. “What you need is some of that Macedonian virtue,” she said. “You just summon up a little ferocity and devotion, and you’ll find out more than you ever wanted to know.” She turned back to the windows.
Bird yanked on me again, but I stood stock-still. Jottie was right. Macedonian virtue was exactly what I needed.
2
May 17, 1938
Rosy,
Please forgive—can’t come to luncheon. Father on warpath: Nelson, sloth, poorhouse, et cetera. Speaks ominously of work. Must stay home and knit socks to make good impression.
Layla
Ben,
Layla needs a job. Can I send her to you?
Affect ly ,
Gray
May 19, 1938
Senator Grayson Beck
Senate Office Bldg.
Washington, D.C.
Dear Gray,
No.
Sincerely,
Ben
May 20, 1938
Mr. Benjamin Beck
WPA/Federal Writers’ Project
1734 New York Ave. NW
Washington, D.C.
Dear Ben,
I am disappointed by your answer. It reveals a lack of brotherly feeling, and a poor memory to boot. Think back, Ben. Think back to 1924. I did not think that it would be necessary to remind you of the time, the money, and the reputation I expended for your sake
and without question
during that summer, but evidently I was mistaken. Perhaps the jail cell has become hallowed in your memory, or perhaps you believe that the judge was inspired to lenience by your worthy ideals. Don’t fool yourself. You owe me.
What time shall I send her up? Tuesday at 2:00?
Gray
May 21, 1938
Senator Grayson Beck
S.O.B.
Washington, D.C.
Dear Gray,
Tuesday at 2 is fine. What job do you want me to give her?
Ben
5/23/38
Ben,
I don’t give a good goddamn what job you give her. I want her out of the house and off my dime.
Affect ly ,
Gray
[Telegram]
May 23, 1938
Charles: Please meet 11:32 tonight. Must talk. Situation dire. One solution possible. Love. Layla
May 25, 1938
Layla—
I’m sorry you were crying when I saw you off. It disfigures you to give way to tears. Not your face—I consider your beauty your least significant attribute—but your mind and your soul. You dread work; you fear it, but this terror is the delusion of your class. Work is noble. It dignifies; it elevates the spirit. I can imagine no better fate for you than to learn firsthand the transcendent effects of labor; you, who sucked the platitudes and superficialities of your class with your mother’s milk, can only exterminate the false consciousness that permeates your existence by making common cause with the laboring men and women of this country. Throw yourself on the mercies of work, Layla. A period of shock is to be expected, but in due time, you’ll find true companionship in the hearty clasp of callused hands; in labor, you’ll find nourishment for your underused mind and deserving objects for your uncontrolled emotions. As you rise from the ashes of your degenerate life, you’ll see your banal nuptial dreams for
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