The Skeleton Haunts a House Read Free

occasion?
    McHades was one of the star attractions of the Howl. I understood the haunt was one of the best in our part of the country, but I’d managed to avoid setting foot in the place. I was hoping to maintain that record, but three things were working against me. One, my sister, Deborah, was in charge of McHades this year. Two, my daughter, Madison, was working there. And three, Sid had a death grip on my hand.
    As we got closer, we saw that the line of people waiting to get in snaked along the sidewalk. “Oh darn,” I said in relief, “we’ll never make it through that line. Let’s hit the midway.”
    â€œDon’t worry, Deborah will get us in,” Sid said, pulling me past the gathered ghoulies, ghosties, and long-legged beasties to the tent where Deborah watched over a pair of ticket sellers, talking into a walkie-talkie.
    Sid cheerily said, “Hi, Deborah! It’s me, Scooby!”
    Deborah looked resigned. My sister was a locksmith, which she said meant that she dealt in hard facts that made sense. Since Sid did not make sense, she had a more difficult time accepting Sid than I did. “I figured you guys would be showing up,” she said unenthusiastically.
    Sid lowered his voice to what he thought was a conspiratorial whisper. “I don’t suppose you can sneak us past the line, can you?”
    â€œYou’re in a fur suit,” she said dryly. “Not exactly easy to sneak.”
    â€œAw, come on, Deborah—”
    â€œBut as it happens, Madison reserved will-call passes for you two so you can go in with the next party.” She handed an orange cardboard ticket to Sid, then tried to give me one.
    â€œThat’s okay,” I said. “I’ll wait out here.”
    â€œYou don’t want to go in?” Sid said.
    â€œNope.”
    â€œNot even to see Madison give her spiel?”
    â€œShe did it for me at the house.”
    â€œYou’re not still freaked out about—”
    â€œNo, I’m not,” I lied. “I just don’t like going in front of all these other people. You go ahead.”
    â€œAre you sure?”
    â€œThe next party is leaving now,” Deborah said, though I’m not sure if she was taking pity on me or getting rid of Sid. Either way, he scurried off to join a group. A young Snow White immediately announced that Scooby would protect her from any monsters, and reached up to hold his hand.
    â€œIsn’t that cute?” I said.
    â€œIt’s not going to be cute when she comes out of the haunt crying.” Deborah pointed at a sign on the ticket booth.
    WARNING!
    McHades Hall is too scary for the following:
    People with weak hearts.
    Those who faint easily.
    Pregnant women.
    Intoxicated visitors.
    Children who frighten easily.
    Enter at your own risk—no refunds!
    â€œYow. Maybe you guys should tone it down a little.”
    â€œIf we tone it down, people complain because they feel cheated. We’re not talking McKamey Manor or Blackout, but we are trying to scare people. That is the point, after all.”
    â€œI guess.”
    â€œJust because you don’t like haunted houses—”
    â€œI know, I know. I’m a wimp.”
    She shrugged. “You can see we’ve got plenty of customers without you.” If anything, the line had gotten longer since we’d been talking. “Come Halloween, people are going to be waiting for two hours to get in. I just hope my cast lasts. All that screaming and scaring is hard work.”
    â€œI imagine so. So how long is Sid going to be in there?”
    â€œIt takes about half an hour to go through.”
    â€œThen I think I’ll go get a hot dog.”
    â€œBring back hot dogs and fries for me and my ticket sellers, and I’ll pay for yours.”
    â€œDeal!”
    I ran into my friend Charles along the way, and stopped to chat for a bit. Then with the line at the concession stand for hot dogs and the