feel safe. I’ll never admit that to him in conversation, but it’s true. Most people want their moms when they’re scared. I want my dad.
Dad’s brown eyes sparkle with mischief. “Is this Raven or Mads I’m talkin’ to?”
I throw a playful punch into his arm. “Jerk. You should know the difference after seventeen years.”
“You look very pretty, Mads,” Cass assures me. Her sweet smile isn’t quite stretching to her eyes. She looks concerned, and in my head I can almost hear her asking me, “Where did you go?” I swear sometimes she knows me better than Dad does.
“Thanks, Cass.” I give her a helpless smirk.
“You ready for the next stop?” Dad asks.
“Yeah, just let me get my things.” I grab my clutch and a water bottle from a nearby table, and after Raven joins us, I follow them out to the limo Jess sent for us.
When we’ve been on the road for about five minutes, I feel a vibration in my clutch and open it to look at a text on my phone.
Ana: Miss you. Hope the tour is going well. I hate that I can’t come up there and support you!
Her usual barrage of broken heart and crying emojis follows that text. I send a quick text back.
Me: Miss you too. It’s going okay. We’ll visit real soon. Hang in there, love.
Ana: Love you!
Me: Love you too!
Tears sting my already raw and bloodshot eyes as I lock the phone and slide it back into my clutch. Trying to keep afloat in a world like this without my other half just makes it even harder. Earlier this summer, Ana kept me sane, and now I’m lucky to get five minutes a day to talk to her.
“You okay, sweetie?” Cass asks with a sympathetic smile.
I clear my throat briskly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just missing Ana, that’s all.”
“We’ll go back to Lawrenceburg to see her real soon. Promise,” Dad says. I nod and turn to look out the window, choosing to focus on the new, exciting sights around me instead of the crushing loneliness.
Chapter 2
August 2, 2015
Tiring Two Days
I never imagined this press tour would be so exhausting. I thought I was going to be sitting down doing nothing most of the time. Instead, I’ve been pinched, probed, preened, and primped until all I want to do is bat everybody’s hands away from me and scream at them to leave me alone. Being a simple Southern girl at heart, I wouldn’t mind showing up to these interviews in jeans and a t-shirt with my hair in a messy bun. That doesn’t pass in NYC. I have to look like some kind of pop princess twenty-four-seven to please these people.
I guess I shouldn’t be complaining…after all, the free doughnuts and coffee and basically whatever else my little heart desires are nice. However, for a girl who likes her personal space, all the free food in the world won’t make up for the fact that I was touched by nearly fifty people I don’t know today. And according to Raven, this was a good day. I don’t like being touched by people I don’t know. I’m not used to it, especially since I’ve never gone to school. It feels suffocating being hovered over by strangers.
I am done…so done. Right now I’m lying down on the bed in sweats and an old-ass t-shirt I slipped into my luggage. This is my happy place: writing, blasting music in my earbuds, and not feeling a single pinch or squeeze. The best moment of any girl’s day is always taking off her bra in her own room, but that has never felt as good as it does now. Undergarments have become the least of my worries.
Just a few days left in this damn press tour. I think I’m finally starting to understand Dad’s mortal hatred of interviews and the media.
Ttyl,
Mads
***
The next morning, Raven and I sit side by side on a white minimalist couch to be interviewed by Spill! Magazine . My heart has risen into my throat and it’s pounding like the pendulum in an old-fashioned clock. This is one of the top entertainment news magazines in the
Dad’s brown eyes sparkle with mischief. “Is this Raven or Mads I’m talkin’ to?”
I throw a playful punch into his arm. “Jerk. You should know the difference after seventeen years.”
“You look very pretty, Mads,” Cass assures me. Her sweet smile isn’t quite stretching to her eyes. She looks concerned, and in my head I can almost hear her asking me, “Where did you go?” I swear sometimes she knows me better than Dad does.
“Thanks, Cass.” I give her a helpless smirk.
“You ready for the next stop?” Dad asks.
“Yeah, just let me get my things.” I grab my clutch and a water bottle from a nearby table, and after Raven joins us, I follow them out to the limo Jess sent for us.
When we’ve been on the road for about five minutes, I feel a vibration in my clutch and open it to look at a text on my phone.
Ana: Miss you. Hope the tour is going well. I hate that I can’t come up there and support you!
Her usual barrage of broken heart and crying emojis follows that text. I send a quick text back.
Me: Miss you too. It’s going okay. We’ll visit real soon. Hang in there, love.
Ana: Love you!
Me: Love you too!
Tears sting my already raw and bloodshot eyes as I lock the phone and slide it back into my clutch. Trying to keep afloat in a world like this without my other half just makes it even harder. Earlier this summer, Ana kept me sane, and now I’m lucky to get five minutes a day to talk to her.
“You okay, sweetie?” Cass asks with a sympathetic smile.
I clear my throat briskly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just missing Ana, that’s all.”
“We’ll go back to Lawrenceburg to see her real soon. Promise,” Dad says. I nod and turn to look out the window, choosing to focus on the new, exciting sights around me instead of the crushing loneliness.
Chapter 2
August 2, 2015
Tiring Two Days
I never imagined this press tour would be so exhausting. I thought I was going to be sitting down doing nothing most of the time. Instead, I’ve been pinched, probed, preened, and primped until all I want to do is bat everybody’s hands away from me and scream at them to leave me alone. Being a simple Southern girl at heart, I wouldn’t mind showing up to these interviews in jeans and a t-shirt with my hair in a messy bun. That doesn’t pass in NYC. I have to look like some kind of pop princess twenty-four-seven to please these people.
I guess I shouldn’t be complaining…after all, the free doughnuts and coffee and basically whatever else my little heart desires are nice. However, for a girl who likes her personal space, all the free food in the world won’t make up for the fact that I was touched by nearly fifty people I don’t know today. And according to Raven, this was a good day. I don’t like being touched by people I don’t know. I’m not used to it, especially since I’ve never gone to school. It feels suffocating being hovered over by strangers.
I am done…so done. Right now I’m lying down on the bed in sweats and an old-ass t-shirt I slipped into my luggage. This is my happy place: writing, blasting music in my earbuds, and not feeling a single pinch or squeeze. The best moment of any girl’s day is always taking off her bra in her own room, but that has never felt as good as it does now. Undergarments have become the least of my worries.
Just a few days left in this damn press tour. I think I’m finally starting to understand Dad’s mortal hatred of interviews and the media.
Ttyl,
Mads
***
The next morning, Raven and I sit side by side on a white minimalist couch to be interviewed by Spill! Magazine . My heart has risen into my throat and it’s pounding like the pendulum in an old-fashioned clock. This is one of the top entertainment news magazines in the
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