The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay - Volume 1: Gallery of Rogues Read Free Page B

Mary Jane asked drolly.
    Thaddeus took to explaining a bit more patiently, “Tea is one of England’s most beloved commodities. Imagine if, at some point, some megalomaniacal fiend decided to destroy tea factories across the nation and create artificial shortages to drive prices up. I say, it’s practically a recipe for total economic takeover!”
    “I think your imagination may be running away with you, dear...”
    “Well, if we expect to get to the bottom of this case, we’d best run away along with it!” Thaddeus made a beeline for his basement workshop, where he would change into costume. With a reluctant shrug, Mary Jane quickly came after.
    O O O
    And so, Thaddeus Hedwater and his wife Mary Jane were soon exploring the streets in the guise of The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay. They had originally planned to head straight for the street The Constable had mentioned, but ended up only going as far as the corner of their own block, when something immediately suspicious caught their eye.
    The Derby asked “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”
    “I certainly hope I’m not, dear,” Replied the Jay.
    Unfortunately for them, they were indeed staring at precisely the same thing. Standing at the end of the block was a green plant, which seemed to stand several miles tall with its multiple branches splaying out in every direction. Looking upwards, they could see the torn-apart remains of a small cottage mingling among the mighty plant’s branches.
    “Another tea house,” The Derby idly commented.
    “What makes you think so, dear?” The Jay said, still staring upward at the giant vine.
    “There’s a lot of broken glass and lids from display jars that had fallen from the windows and cracked upon the street.”
    “So there is,” The Jay dropped her head and then moved slowly towards the vine. “Seems like a circumstance best left to science. Care to break out the chemistry set, dear?”
    The Derby shook his head. “I’m not much of a botanist. I was sort-of hoping the time you’ve spent in your private garden would help us figure out what it is.”
    The Jay spent a few moments looking up and down the stem, feeling the branches between her palms, and running the leaves between her fingers. It was when she pushed her fingers between the knotted stem and pulled loose a small amount of light brown seeds did she come to a conclusion.
    “It’s an Arabica.”
    “Arabica? I’m not familiar with the t-”
    “Arabica, as in coffee, it is a giant, mutant, middle-eastern coffee plant.” She promptly dropped the seeds onto the street and dusted her hands off, sneering “It’s a good thing I was wearing gloves.”
    “I take it you’re not a fan of coffee?” The Derby asked with a bit of smugness in his voice.
    “Call me old fashioned,” The Jay replied, “but I still heed my mother’s old warnings about the stuff: dulls the senses, makes people dependent, upsets the head and stomach, and ruin’s a man’s ability to,” The Jay looked up at the Derby, who continued to smile slyly.
    “Anyway, I do believe that I’m starting to believe your theory about the tea economy. It’d be easy to usurp the national beverage if…”
    “You immediately replace it with another beverage. Yes I was thinking the same thing!” The Derby energetically stroked the bottom of his chin. “The only thing we need now is a suspect.”
    No sooner had The Derby said those words did the oddest little man show up pushing a peddler’s cart with a metal tin made for roasted peanuts across the street. He was a thin man with a large, bulbous nose, a thin, curled moustache, and although his clothing was indeed that of a peanut peddler, they draped in strange places about his body, as though they were a size too big or wide for his slender frame.
    “You there,” The Jay called across the street “Isn’t it a bit late in the evening to be selling peanuts?”
    The peanut peddler stopped in is tracks and stammered as he scratched the