The Rottenest Angel Read Free

Don’t blame him. He just didn’t want to share his computer.”
    Feenman and Crench glared at me.
    â€œI’m new here,” Angel said. “At my old school we all shared.”
    â€œYou can use my laptop,” Crench said. “The b and d keys are broken. But who uses b and d that much?”
    â€œThanks,” Angel said. “My name is Angel Goodeboy. Bernie and I are new best friends. And I know you guys will be good friends, too.”
    I couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t Feenman and Crench see what a phony this kid was? He was acting all innocent. But he was evil. I knew he was evil.
    I had to get out of there. I watched Feenman and Crench trying to cheer up Angel, and it made my stomach heave.
    I hurried outside to get some fresh air.
    And as I passed the girls’ dorm, I saw April-May June. Her blond ponytail waved in the wind. Her blue eyes sparkled like jewels. Dudes, are you beginning to see how I feel about April-May?
    She’s the hottest girl in school. And she feels the same way about me. She just doesn’t know it yet.
    â€œApril-May—wait up!” I shouted. “Hey—wait up!”

Chapter 6
H E S NIFFS H IS A RMPITS
    April-May whipped around so hard, her ponytail smacked her in the face. “I can’t wait up, Bernie,” she said. “I’m in a big hurry.”
    â€œA big hurry?” I said. “To do what?”
    â€œTo get away from you,” she said.
    â€œHa-ha-ha.” I laughed. She has an awesome sense of humor. I knew she was kidding. “Where are you going?” I asked.
    She flipped her ponytail behind her. “To the library. You know. The place where they have books.”
    â€œI love books,” I said. My heart started to pound.“Books are my favorite thing for reading. Maybe you and I could read one together.”
    â€œGood idea,” she said. “Maybe when I pull out all my hair and tattoo your name on my head.”
    â€œCould that be on Friday?” I asked.
    She started to walk away. I hurried after her. “Friday night is movie night at the Student Center,” I said. “Would you like to go with me?”
    She spun around again. “Bernie, who is that new boy in your dorm? I hear he’s really cute.”
    I gulped. “Angel? Cute? You wouldn’t like him. He has hair growing out of his nose, and he licks it.”
    She stomped down hard on my foot.
    â€œOWWWW!” I let out a scream and stumbled back. “Why did you do that?”
    â€œJust felt like it,” she said. “Now tell me about this new kid.”
    â€œWhat about my question about Friday night?” I said.
    â€œI already forgot it,” April-May said.
    Flora and Fauna—the Peevish twins—came running up. The twins are identical. They are both short and thin and have brown hair and brown eyes.There’s only one way to tell which is which: Fauna is the one on the left.
    â€œWe heard there’s a cute new guy in your dorm,” Fauna said.
    â€œI heard it first,” Flora said.
    â€œDid not,” Fauna said. “I heard it before he even came here.”

    â€œI heard it before that!” her sister said.
    They started slapping each other and tearing at each other’s hair. April-May and I had to pull them apart.
    â€œSo? What’s he like?” Flora asked.
    â€œYou wouldn’t like him,” I said. “He’s very hairy, and he grunts. He doesn’t talk. He scratches hisarmpits, and he sniffs them. And he smells like two-day-old diarrhea.”
    Good description, huh?
    All three girls stared at me.
    â€œYou’re lying,” April-May said.
    â€œYeah. He’s lying,” Fauna agreed.
    â€œMaybe a little,” I replied.
    â€œWe’re having a party at the girls’ dorm Tuesday afternoon,” April-May said. “Could you send the new kid over?”
    â€œHe’s not ready for a party,” I said.