The Other Side of the Story Read Free Page A

two children, a girl of nine and a boy of seven, from another relationship. She wasn't married to the other man and when I told Mam she said, 'Small wonder. Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free?'
    The story goes that they'd spent a lot of time working on the new tiramisu bar, and become very close.
    Yes, I'd already told Susan about the tiramisu bar. I know it was a secret and I'd promised Dad I wouldn't tell anyone, but Susan had such enthusiasm for the topic that I couldn't keep my mouth shut. She'd love to do a thesis on the subject 'From Curly Wurly to Chunky KitKat — whither bars of chocolate in the twenty-first century'. 'Think of the research I'd have to do,' she says.
    I had to leg it home from work (leaving two hundred frisky chiropractors in the hands of Andrea) and weasel the info out of Dad like it was a game of twenty questions. 'Do you owe money?'
    'Are you sick?' Then finally I hit bedrock with, 'Are you having an affair?'
    It's only been going on three months - or so he says. What's he doing walking out on a thirty-five-year-old marriage for a three-month fling? And when was he planning on telling us? Did he really think he could just pack a suitcase one Tuesday morning and leave for good without ever having to explain himself?
    And the yellow bellied cowardice of the man. He fesses up to me, on the phone, then leaves me to break the news to Mam He-llo? I'm his daughter She's his wife But when I reminded him of this he sez, 'Ah no, you tell her, women are better at that sort of thing'
    He didn't even have the kindness to let me go and tell Mam immediately, he had to Share The Joy about Colette, while Mam watched like a wounded animal.
    'She makes me feel young,' he declared, like I should be happy for him Then he said - and before he even said it, I knew he was going to - he said, 'I feel like a teenager' So I said, I'm sure we can find you one Male or female?' And he didn't get it at all. Ridiculous old fool.
    Telling Mam that her husband had left her for his secretary was literally the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life It would have been easier to tell her he'd died.
    But she took it well - too well. She just said, 'I see.' Sounding very reasonable. 'A girlfriend, you say? Stick on Buffy there.'
    So, mad as it sounds, we sat in front of Buffy , not seeing a thing, well I didn't anyway, then, without warning, she switched off the telly, and said, 'You know, I think I'd like to speak to him.'
    Back out to the phone and this time she rang him and got him at his desk, and they had what sounded like a calm conversation - very 'Yes, Gemma did tell me, but I thought she might have got it wrong. Uh-huh, she didn't Uh huh, yes... Colette... you're in love with her... I see... I see. Yes, of course you deserve to be happy... nice apartment... well that's nice. A nice apartment can be nice... solicitor's letter... I see, yes, I'll look out for it, well, bye for now'
    And when she hung up she said, 'He has a girlfriend.' Like it was news.
    Back she went into the kitchen, me following. 'A girlfriend. Noel Hogan has a girlfriend. He's going to live with her in her nice apartment.'
    Then she opens a press, takes out a plate, says, 'My husband of thirty-five years has a girlfriend,' and casually frisbeed the plate at the wall, where it smashed into smithereens. Then another, then one more. She was picking up speed, the plates were twirling faster and the gaps between me having to duck to avoid the explosion of splinters were getting shorter.
    While she was just flinging the ordinary blue and white kitchen crockery, I wasn't too bothered I thought she was only doing what was expected of her. But when she went into the sitting room, picked up one of her bone-china ballerinas - you know them, awful -looking yokes, but she loves them - and, after only the tiniest hesitation, fecked it at the window, then I was bothered.
    'I'm going to drive over there and kill him,' she growled, sounding like