The Mystery of the Mystery Meat Read Free Page A

had collapsed from the strain and fainted dead away. Next thing she knew, she was in Freekin’s room with Scary bent over her, fanning her with his wings. Was Freekin there, pacing and worrying about her? Nooo. Freekin hadn’t even waited to see if she was all right before he went dashing off to Lilly’s house. Yucky, dumb, two-eyed Lilly.
    So Pretty followed him and hid behind the telephone pole to spy on him and Yucky Lilly. She saw everything. The way Freekin’s face lit up around Lilly. How he tried to kiss her. And how he asked Yucky Lilly to the Nonspecific Winter Holiday Dance. Pretty’s heart was pulverized. There was nothing left of it, not evenmolecules, atoms, or electrons. Because she had thought Freekin had already asked
her
, Pretty, to the dance. In fact, she was so certain of it that she had spent an entire night gathering all the coins in the fountain in the center of the Horatio Snickering III Municipal Park to buy herself a fancy dress at the mall.
    Had Freekin forgotten that he’d hugged her and kissed her right on the lips after she started the fire? That he’d said, “Oh, Pretty, I just love you”?
    It must have slipped his mind. Maybe his rotting brain was breaking apart inside his skull, and those memories had tumbled into a sea of goo. Freekin would never lie to Pretty. He would never hurt her feelings on purpose. Or lie to her by saying he loved her when he was making goo-goo eyes, speaking of goo, at that
cheerleader
…
    She took another bite of phone pole as she saw a light come on in Yucky Lilly’s bedroom. It was Yucky Lilly’s fault. Freekin just went all crazy around her, and Pretty had no idea why. Yucky Lilly had only two eyes, she had
no
fangs, just very white, tiny teeth, and she was completely lacking in tentacles. And still Freekin liked her better than the most beautiful ancient monster in the Underworld.
    “Eat her eyeballs,” Pretty grumbled, sinking her fangs into the splintering wood.
    She tore out such a huge chunk that a crack shot up the center of the pole and split it in half. Both halves slammed against the sidewalk with truly impressive force. The power lines snapped free and sparked and danced in the puddles of melted ice on the sidewalk.
    Pretty scooted into the shadows and skittered away on her tentacles, balling and unballing her fists. She didn’t know what to do next. Maybe he had gone home, where she could talk to him…make him see that she was everything he could want in a girlfriend. Beg him to take her to the dance instead.
    But a monster had her pride. Back in the Underworld, she had been very popular. Boy monsters lined up to ask her out. They brought her all kinds of presents to bribe her—fresh chunks of wood, large boulders, and delicately seasoned carcasses. Freekin just took her for granted. He thought she would always be there by his side, supporting him and cheering him on.
    Well, what if she wasn’t? What if someone else wanted to be her boyfriend? Then he would be sorry.
    What Freekin needed was competition.
    Her eyes spun. Her teeth clacked. She was on to something here! She would conjure up the cutest, most adorable boy monster in the entire Underworld, and
he
would be her honey-bunny. He would even be her date tothe dance! And when Freekin saw her all dressed up, dancing the night away with someone else, he would eat his heart out!
    With renewed hope, she trundled on her tentacles through the stinging, icy mud as she skittered toward Snickering Willows Cemetery. She didn’t mind the pain. It was worth it if it helped her get Freekin back.
    “Okeydoke, me going for it,” she whispered as she prepared herself to deliver a summoning spell. She gnawed for a while on a headstone, which put her in a zone. She smoothed her jumper and gave the little dead bunny head on the front a pat for good luck. Spitting in her palms, she slicked back her ponytail ears and pushed up the sleeves of her turtleneck sweater.
    She took a very deep breath.
    Her