The Moonlight Monsters Detective Agency Volume One Read Free

love! ” Parker thought and turned off an alley up ahead.
    With a roar, Boris turned one quarter bear and then bounded after him at breakneck speed.
     
    By the time Tina rounded the alley Boris already had their perp pinned to the wall. By now, under the cover of the dark alley, her partner had permitted himself to go almost full ursine. Most of his body was covered in tufts of thick grey hair and he’d grown to a size roughly three times as big as his human form. Clutched in his giant paws was Sam Parker.
    The vampire was panting and he had a nasty scratch on his unshaved cheek, but he still smiled when Tina came up to him. ‘Alright love,’ he grinned, ‘he’s a handsome one this fella, eh? What’s your secret then big man – testosterone in the porridge at breakfast?’
    ‘Shut it,’ Boris growled.
    ‘You read him his rights?’ Tina asked.
    ‘Yeah,’ Boris nodded.
    ‘Tried to anyway,’ Parker said, ‘although it’s not easy to understand when it comes from the maws of Grizzly Adam’s illegitimate love child.’ He gave Tina a quick once over and smiled. ‘You’re not bad looking though, eh love? I knew you’d be pretty when I felt you poking around in my noggin…’
    ‘In your dreams leechbreath .’
    Sam Parker shrugged. ‘Don’t worry,’ he said, ‘you’re not my type. I don’t mess with demons. Had a bad experience once.’
    Tina was a little taken aback at that. Not many people could tell she was demon at first meeting. This guy was good, even if he was a total dick.
    ‘Smelt it on you love,’ Parker smiled, noting her surprise, ‘does me a lot of good to have a nose that’s particularly honed in to danger. Speaking of which, what’s this boy been rolling in? Cor Blimey, smells like a dead crocodile.’
    ‘There was an accident at the office,’ Boris muttered.
    Tina frowned. ‘Hey Parker,’ she said, ‘keep your mouth shut. We’re the ones who ask the questions around here.’
    ‘Oh yeah? Parker smirked, ‘Well why don’t you just forego the questions and go straight to the source? Or do you not have the skills to take me on?
    ‘Ha! I’d break your defenses down in fifteen minutes if I wanted to,’ Tina told him, ‘I’m just afraid of what other filthy thoughts I might dig up…’
    Parker shrugged. ‘Can’t say I blame you,’ he said.
     
    ‘Ok, enough bullshit, we’re taking you back to the station.’
    For the first time since he’d been intercepted, Sam Parker looked flustered. ‘Hey hold on a second,’ he said, ‘why can’t you just give me a warning here? Let me off with a slap on the wrist?’
    ‘You’ve committed a serious crime,’ Tina said, ‘that’s why. Come on Boris, we’re taking him in.’
    Boris grabbed the vampire by the shoulders and pulled him forward.
    ‘Wait, wait, Goddamn it,’ Parker cried, ‘listen – I’m on a case here. There’s a real crime that’s gone on and I was just now in the middle of solving it before you two well-meaning morons showed up.’
    ‘Watch it,’ Tina said. She considered her options for a second. I suppose it couldn’t hurt to hear him out, she reasoned. ‘Ok,’ she said, ‘you got five minutes. What are you saying here?’
    ‘Thank you,’ Parker said, as Boris relaxed his hairy grip. The vampire made a show of dusting off his overcoat before continuing. ‘Well this guy came into my office yesterday, yeah? A normal like, just a regular family guy. Said he’d been ripped off by some shady con-artist.’
    ‘Keep talking.’
    ‘Well here’s the thing: I’m a paranormal PI, right? I mean that’s my gig and that’s how I advertise myself. So apparently there was more going on here than some huckster taking a shot at an easy mark. From the way this guy told it, he’d been hypnotized – and not your textbook Tony Robbins type shit – I mean this guy was under a seriously deep-trance, going on a full week, from the moment he first met the conman till he signed away his lifesavings and the