'twas Robert Greene who took it in his head to dress me down," responded Shakespeare. "He could have greeted me in friendship as a colleague, but instead he chose to upbraid me for having the audacity to improve upon his work. Well, as it happens, his criticism was not entirely without merit. I am not a university man, and as such may indeed be regarded as 'an upstart crow' by the academic poets, his fellow masters of the arts. 'Beautified with the feathers of his betters.' I must say, Greene may have become a bloated old sot, but soused or not, he still knows how to turn a phrase."
"'Twas a vile phrase, a most vile phrase, indeed!" said Smythe as they walked. "And I must disagree with you that his criticism was not without merit. I say 'twas completely without merit! Why, how can you possibly say otherwise!"
"But I did rewrite some of his plays."
"You rewrote some speeches here and there, and that only because the company had asked you to, for they were not working well on the stage," said Smythe. "For God's sake, Will, must I defend you to yourself? Greene's plays are full of pompous posturings and pretentious speeches that tend to ridicule the very audiences to whom he purports to play. The truth of the matter is that he fancies himself a grand literary poet superior to all but others like himself, the so-called 'masters of the arts,' if you will. Masters of conceit, if you ask me! Well, unfortunately for Master Greene, a university degree does not, apparently, elevate one above the mundane task of eating, and so for sustenance he must write plays and publish pamphlets, not for other university men such as himself, whose patronage could not support him, but for the groundlings, common people like ourselves, for whom it seems he has nothing but contempt. But then we mere mortals are not quite so ignorant as he supposes, and when he continually ridicules us in his plays, we respond accordingly and begin to look elsewhere for our entertainments. Aye, even to 'upstart crows' who may lack the advantages of a university degree, but at least do not bite the hands that feed them!"
"Upon my word, Tuck, that was as fine a speech as any Robert Greene could ever hope to write," said Shakespeare.. "I can only hope that I might do as well one day."
"I have every confidence that you shall do much better."
"You are a kind soul, Tuck, if not quite an honest one. Nevertheless, I do esteem you for your kindness. But 'twould seem now that you no longer admire Greene's work, yet prior to this, I think you did. I am sorry this encounter has soured you on him."
"'Tis the man that I have soured on, more so than the work, although in truth, after this insufferable exhibition, I doubt that I shall be purchasing any more of his pamphlets at the bookstalls. However, what I had said about his plays was what I had felt about his plays, even prior to this encounter. I was never very fond of them. 'Twas his pamphlets that I liked. They seemed much more direct and colourful, and not at all pretentious. He may write well, I do not know, for I do not presume to be a judge upon such matters, but as for how his work plays on the stage before an audience, one need not be a learned university man to be able to determine that. His plays have not done well for us. At least, not until you had doctored them somewhat. And even then, they have not drawn much of an audience, unlike Marlowe, who packs them in with his
Tamburlaine
and his Doctor
Faustus
and his
Jew of Malta
. His plays are so exciting that people cannot seem to get enough of him."
"Aye, for an Englishman, Kit is very much a Roman," Shakespeare said with a smile. "He gives them bread and circuses upon the stage. And therein, Tuck, lies the rub, you see. The audiences for plays have changed. Perhaps men such as Tom Kyd and Kit Marlowe have changed them by whetting their appetites for something new, a brew more heady than the small beer they have hitherto imbibed. Perhaps these new poets have merely