The Love Machine & Other Contraptions Read Free Page B

for Government!”—“The lawyers, without conditions and limitations, and for an unlimited period of time...”
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    “I pray to you, the Lord our God, to return things to the way they were and put faith into the nation and bring peace on Israel. Amen.” But in vain.
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    “Me for Government! I rule the world, and no one can ever contradict it now or ever or until I say so, not even God!”
    I am the Lord your God . And something appeared, and darkness came.
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    In the end, it was simplicity that won, but no one will ever know it.

    The boy was playing in the sandbox when the word of man became the word of God. In the beginning, one of the big kids approached him threateningly.
    “You’re going away,” said the boy, and pop , his antagonist went.
    The kindergarten teacher came and watched him.
    “Honey,” she said, “Do you like playing in the sand?”
    “I love you,” he said. Pop .
    “You’re cute,” she said. Pop . “You’re the most wonderful and beautiful and smartest kid in the world!” Pop .
    “You love me,” he said. Pop .
    She looked at him admiringly. “My cuteness, my gorgeous one, you’re almost an adult already.” Pop .
    The kindergarten teacher and the teenager lay in the sandbox.
    “My God, that was good,” he said.
    I am the God your Lord , said the voice of pop gravely, and something appeared—the last thing the boy ever saw in his life.
    Do not use my name in vain!
    But the boy only smiled, and his blind eyes stared into the empty air, and for the first and last time man turned to God and said, I am the God your Lord.
    And so it was.

Contraption: Time Machine
    The time machine emits a flawless, continuous flow of time. In all the history of the universe, the flow has been interrupted only twice. One of those times was what those poor scientists call “The Big Bang,” assuming—mistakenly—that it was the beginning of our universe, which is in fact much older than that. The other time occurred just... now.

My Uncle Gave Me a Time Machine
    August 29, 2001, 23:04
    Today, for my birthday, my Uncle Haim brought me a present. He always tries to be cool, with his funny moustache, which looks fake, and those glasses which make him look like someone from a really old TV show, from the seventies or something. And he always tries to bring me presents that won’t be just like any other present, and generally, as he says, breaking the rules. Two years ago, when he got back from America, he brought me a chemistry experiment kit, and I almost got my face burned off. Mom didn’t respond well to that. Last year he brought me a snake, and Mom almost kicked him out of the house. I can really see why Dad ran away from her.
    Anyway, I think Uncle Haim learned his lesson, because this year he brought me a record. A vinyl record. A very strange one, and not by any band I ever heard of. It’s not as cool as the snake, but still it’s not bad, really, because I don’t have too many records for my old and totally retro turntable, and I don’t think anyone else has a copy of this record. But I didn’t want to show him that I liked it, because then he’d nag me about it. And also Mom would be pissed if she saw that I liked something that he brought me. So I just said “thank you” very nicely and went to my room.
    Oh, and Mom bought me a small and really slick electronic journal, which isn’t so bad either. Last year she bought me a laptop computer, but that was because I kept nagging her for a whole year. This year I didn’t have the energy for it. The journal doesn’t look too new, but that’s probably because she didn’t have much money left after buying me that computer. Never mind.
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    August 29, 2001, 23:14
    This record looks pretty old, really. It looks like it’s been played a million times already. It’s totally grooved. The name of the band is silly, Pita Morgana . What does that mean? The name of the album is also stupid, The Universe in a Pita . Someone probably had a fixation