The Lighter Side of Large Read Free

living in sin any more.”
    “Cat, that’s not the point,” Sands snaps.
    Riyaan’s eyes widen in horror. “That’s so wrong. Oh, Bella.” He rests his hand on mine, curled around the takeaway cup. “I’m here for you. If you need to talk, you call anytime, okay?”
    “Yeah,” Cat says. “If you need to talk or go shopping, it’s always convenient to have a gay friend. Especially a pretentious one who insists on mispronouncing and misspelling his name as RHEE-OHN instead of plain old RY-UN.”
    “CAT!” all three of us say in unison.
    Riyaan rolls his eyes at her. “So when’s the wedding?”
    “In nine months.”
    “Are you going?”
    “Of course not,” I say. “Why would I want to see the two people who stabbed me in the back get married in some rich, extravagant ceremony and overblown reception?”
    “Well, I think you should.” Riyaan plays with his multiple bracelets and cuffs. “Show them they can’t keep a good woman down. Show up on the arm of a drop-dead gorgeous guy and shove it in their faces.”
    “Like where is she going to find a drop-dead gorgeous guy?” says Cat.
    “Riyaan’s right, Bella.” Sands nods. “You need to stand up for yourself. Make an appearance to send the message that you’re better than them.” She giggles. “Even better - wear black, like it’s a funeral.”
    I sip my mocacchino, the chocolaty-coffee-frothiness a warming comfort. “The only message I’d send is that Mika made the right choice in dumping the frumpy sister for the hot one.”
    “Not if you lost weight,” says Sands. I give her a dirty look. We’ve been down this road before. She holds up her hands in surrender. “I’m just saying. I can train you. It will take a while but the effort is worth the reward. And then you can show up to the wedding in some slinky cocktail dress and make Mika regret leaving you.”
    “Of course,” I say sourly. “It’s that simple. You know how successful I’ve been in the past with dieting.”
    “Never mind,” Riyaan waves the idea aside. “I’ll be your date to the wedding just as you are. Forget diets. What do you say?”
    “That idea sucks,” says Cat. “Gay date with the fat girl: it’ll be too obvious that she couldn’t find anyone else to go with her.”
    “Then we’ll find someone for her. Do you know of anyone?” he asks Sands. “All my guy friends are gay, which is obviously not acceptable to some persons.” He shoots Cat a glare.
    “There are lots of guys who have memberships at my gym,” Sands says.
    “Are you crazy?” asks Cat.
    “That’s rich, coming from you,” says Riyaan.
    Cat ignores him. “Using your business to fix up your friend with a date is tantamount to an escort service.”
    Riyaan sighs, exasperated. “Then we’ll find someone online. That’s how I found my last two boyfriends. Now, Bella, ignore the major dating sites because you won’t find anyone interesting on those. They all lie and are only looking for someone rich. Go right to the niche ones because that’s where you’ll find the goods.”
    “Or I can go as your date,” says Cat, completely serious. “There’s no law which says you can’t take a straight woman as a dateThe silence is loud as Riyaan, Sands and I envision Cat in all her homeless, stinky glory appearing as my date to the wedding. It is not a pretty picture - except that Mika hates her and it would piss him off to have her show up.
    A diplomatic excuse to not invite her as my date presents itself. “I don’t even know if I’m invited, so there’s no point figuring out who I should take as my date. Can we talk about something else? Please?”
    “Sure, darling.” Riyaan pats my hand.
    Sands rolls her eyes. “Don’t look for a date online. It’s dangerous and you don’t know what freaks you’ll meet. Come to the gym tomorrow and we’ll check out the men there.”
    “I don’t want to check out men there because they’ll check right out the door once they see me,” I