a baby. ‘Aren’t they sweet?’
‘Yeah—if a nutter happens to come stalking you, they’ll be the perfect weapon. You can pick one up and yell, “Duck.”’
‘Very funny. Are you coming aboard?’
‘I don’t know why you can’t carry on living in my spare room.’ Helen followed more cautiously onto the boat. ‘I love having you.’
‘I can’t live with you for ever. I’ll use this as a base while I decide what to do.’ Ella unlocked the doors at the bow of the boat. ‘It’s so peaceful here.’
‘Ella, you’ve been crying yourself to sleep for the past four months. You don’t need peaceful!’
Without responding, Ella ducked down into the long, narrow sitting area. Dark green sofas were piled with contrasting cushions and the polished wooden floor gleamed in the sunlight. She could imagine herself curled up on the cushions in the bow of the boat, a cold drink in her hand.
Alone.
The sudden stab of pain took her by surprise and she dug her nails into her palms.
Alone was fine. Until she’d met Nikos, that had been her life choice.
And she wouldn’t be alone for long, would she? Soon she’d have the baby. They’d be a family…
Helen was looking round doubtfully. ‘Do you realise that we’ve only seen one other person since we arrived? And that was a man on his own, walking a dog. This is not a suitable place for a woman.’
Ignoring her, Ella wandered further down the boat, trying to be positive as she explored her new surroundings. ‘The bedroom is cosy.’ She dumped her suitcase on the floor. ‘I’ll unpack later.’
‘Who did you say owns this place?’
‘One of the consultants at the hospital—he’s gone toAustralia for six months with his family. One of the conditions of living here is that I have to water the plants.’
‘Ella, please…’ Helen plopped onto the side of the bed. ‘Just think about what you’re doing.’
‘I’m getting on with my life.’ Ella knelt on the bed next to her and looked out of the window at the overhanging trees that brushed the still surface of the water. ‘It’s so calming here. I can wake up every morning gazing at that.’
‘Crying. Talk to me, Ella. Tell me how you’re feeling.’
Like he’d taken a scalpel to her heart.
‘I’m fine,’ Ella said brightly. ‘No morning sickness, no swollen ankles, no—’
‘I’m not talking about the pregnancy—I’m talking about the way you feel inside. You shut everyone out, Ella. You always have.’ Helen spread her hands in exasperation. ‘Did you do it with him? Didn’t you tell him how you felt?’
‘He knew.’ And that was why he’d ended it. For her, the relationship had been more than the hot sizzle of sexual attraction. He’d wanted shallow and she’d waded in deep. ‘You want to know how I feel? I’ll tell you. I feel as though I’ve been broken into a million tiny pieces. I’ve stuck the pieces back together and so far it’s all holding, but I don’t feel like me any more.’
‘Is that why you’re planning on living in the middle of nowhere?’
‘I need space to work out what I want. And it’s cosy here.’ Ella looked out at the trees spilling over the path and listened to the mellow sound of ducks. ‘I’ll be all right. I’m a paediatric nurse—at least I already know how to pick up a baby and change a nappy.’
‘I’m not worried about your ability to change a nappy.’ Helen swatted a fly. ‘I just don’t want you to be single.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with being single. Single can be a lifestyle choice, you know. We single women earn our own money, we buy our own homes, we—we…’
‘We what? We have sex with ourselves? Hug ourselves when we’re miserable? Fix the car when the engine won’t start? Sounds great.’ Helen recoiled as she noticed a spider lurking in the corner. ‘Sorry, I know it isn’t politically correct to admit it, but I’m not ready to turn into a spinster yet and neither are you. Buried under all that