The Facts of Life and Death Read Free

to get miserable yet.
    David Leather put up his hand and asked if he could write about his milk-bottle collection and Shawn Loosemore asked if he could write about smashing up David Leather’s milk-bottle collection, and everyone laughed – apart from David and Miss Sharpe, who had to clap her hands to make them all be quiet.
    ‘Of course, David. Hobbies, or what you did at the weekend, or what you want for your birthday, or your pets. It will be like Facebook, but just for 5B. Then,’ she said, ‘those who want to can read their diaries out in class, and we’ll be able learn about each other’s—’
    The bell rang and Miss Sharpe had to raise her voice over the scraping chairs.
    ‘—everyday lives! Have a lovely weekend everybody!’
    Ruby stuffed
My Dairy
into her plush pony-shaped backpack, then trailed out of the classroom behind the others.
    The other kids had no interest in her
or
her everyday life.
    Writing it down wouldn’t make any difference.

    Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Cowboy.
    Cowboy Night was the best night of the week.
    On Cowboy afternoons, Ruby would get off the bus and go into the shop to spend her pocket money under the suspicious eye of Mr Preece. She didn’t like Mr Preece, who had hair curling from his ears, and eyes that looked too big behind thick glasses. She took an age every Friday to buy the same two things: a Mars bar and a copy of
Pony & Rider
, which were her treats for the week.
    By the time she reached the little chapel, she’d always eaten the Mars bar.
    Pony & Rider
lasted longer, and Ruby ambled down the hill, envying the pretty girls with their long legs wrapped around immaculate ponies, and looking for good pictures to cut out and stick over her bed, until it became difficult to see by the miserly light that the forest allowed. Then she hurried the rest of the way to Limeburn, letting gravity speed her home.
    Daddy sucked spaghetti into his mouth in long strings that were still attached to his plate, and Ruby did the same, but Mummy said ‘Ruby!’ and made her stop.
She
wound her spaghetti around her fork so that it was like putting a knot of wet wool in your mouth. It wasn’t half the fun.
    ‘Mmm,’ said Daddy, ‘that was great, thanks.’ He leaned back and played the drums on his tummy. Sometimes Ruby had to guess what song.
    ‘More?’ asked Mummy.
    ‘Please.’ He made the most of a burp and Ruby giggled. Daddy could say ‘Bulawayo’ before finishing a burp. He laughed too; Daddy was always in a good mood on Cowboy Nights.
    Mummy got up and crossed to the stove. Daddy watched her all the way. When she got back with the second plateful, he said, ‘What’s the occasion?’
    ‘What?’
    ‘New shoes.’
    Mummy looked down as if they were a surprise to her too.
    ‘Oh,’ she said, pushing her hair behind her ear.
    Ruby leaned off her chair to see the shoes. Mummy always wore flat ones because she was too tall. These were far from flat, and had lots of thin straps. They looked like the shoes models wore in magazines.
    ‘Mum gave me some money for my birthday,’ said Mummy. ‘You remember.’
    ‘That was months ago.’
    ‘I haven’t had time to go shoe shopping.’
    ‘Bit high, aren’t they?’ said Daddy.
    Mummy looked under the table at her feet. ‘They
are
a bit higher than they felt in the shop. I just thought it would be nice to have one good pair just in case …’ She tailed off.
    ‘In case of what?’ said Ruby.
    ‘Just in case we went out somewhere,’ she shrugged.
    Daddy sucked up the new spaghetti.
    ‘Can I have some more spaghetti too?’ said Ruby.
    ‘What’s the magic word?’ said Mummy.
    ‘Please.’
    ‘Are you still hungry?’ said Mummy. ‘That was a big bowl for a little girl.’
    ‘Let her eat if she’s hungry,’ said Daddy.
    ‘I
am
hungry,’ said Ruby.
    ‘See?’
    Mummy pursed her lips and Ruby felt cross, because faces like that made her remember that she was fat. Not fat like David Leather, whose legs