The Everything Box Read Free Page B

Wonder Woman footie pajamas stood and stared at them. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and squinted when she saw him, like she wasn’t sure Coop was real. He froze, hoping that she’d keep one foot in dreamland until he had time to get out.
    â€œDo you really think you’re that lucky?” said Phil.
    The little girl twitched. Something changed in her eyes. Coop knew it was the “Nope, you’re awake” part of her brain finally kicking in. She dropped the glass of water and screamed. Coop stood and put a finger to his lips, hoping the sleepy kid might obey an adult simply out of habit. And she might have, if her face hadn’t peeled open like a flesh banana, revealing a snarling red baboonlike mug.
    â€œOh, crap,” said Coop and Phil.
    Not a kid, Coop thought. A guard imp. There weren’t supposed to be any left in the house, much less one in little-girl drag.
    Coop reached into a pocket on his bloody leg and pulled out a packet the size of a walnut. The imp screamed again, its human disguise falling away completely. As it charged him, Coop threw the packet on the floor. A cloud of white smoke filled the corridor. When the fog cleared, three Coops stood side by side. Two of them took off running in different directions. The real Coop stood as still as a bacon-wrapped rat at a Rottweiler convention. Guard imps weren’t known for their brains, and most were attracted to motion. But this imp just stood there.
    â€œOh, hell,” said Phil. “We got the Stephen Hawking of imps. It’s onto us.”
    â€œShut up and let me think.”
    One of the extra Coops came back down the hall, looked around, and sprinted past them down the stairs.
    It was too much for the imp. It finally ran after him, screaming like a banshee taking first place in an air-raid-siren sing-along contest.
    â€œSee you around, smart guy—”
    Something snapped behind Coop and the whole house shook. He turned around just in time to see the dragon swallowing the last of his broken jack.
    â€œThe imp woke it!” screamed Phil. “We’re double screwed! Do something, numb nuts!”
    Coop ducked as the dragon blew a roiling blast of crimson fire over his head. The beast shook its shoulders, rocking the whole house. The wall started to crack as the monster pushed its way through and into the dining room.
    â€œAt least it’s not a Wendigo,” said Coop.
    â€œYou’re not funny,” said Phil.
    â€œNo, but I’m a good shot.”
    Coop took a flat lead conjuring coin from his alchemy kit and flipped it across the room. It spun through the air, striking the nameplate on the front of the painting. The frame dropped like a guillotine onto the dragon’s neck, trapping it. It roared and shot out another jet of fire, but Coop was already down the corridor and out the same window he’d come in, shooting away from the house on the zip line he’d set up earlier. Phil whooped and jumped around in his skull.
    â€œSuck on that, you monster assholes!” yelled Phil.
    Coop was halfway across the manor grounds, heading for the stone wall that ringed the place, when he felt the zip line sag. He looked back and saw the imp sliding toward him down the line by one of its claws.
    â€œSorry, man, but those things eat poltergeists, too, and I’m not dressed for an evisceration,” said Phil. “I’m out of here.”
    This time the poltergeist meant it, and Coop felt the sudden emptiness in his head that always followed Phil’s exit to wherever it was he went when he vanished. He couldn’t even feel angry for the guy deserting him. If he could desert himself right now, he would.
    He looked back over his shoulder. The imp was close, almost close enough to grab him.
    Coop reached into his suit and pulled out the secret weapon hekept for just such emergencies: a set of nail clippers. While the imp took swipes at his face with its free claw, Coop calmly