actually going to do it. I wasnât going to be scared. I grabbed on to his back. I looked up through the roof of the Wendy house, and through a crack in the wood I saw starlight. I drew up my knees. Hewas going to put it inside me. Any second now. The starlight grew blurry in my eyes.
I closed my eyes and found a memory. Fallon and me, dancing on rocks, laughing so hard about something. Max and Zane were pulling at branches in the woods â making a den. Corey was sitting on a pebble beach, trying to catch a fish with a stick and some string. We were best friends who danced, built dens, fished, had picnics and swam whole summers away. And we had the best big sister to look after us and tell us stories.
âWho wants to hear my new story? I just finished it.â
âMe! Me! Me! I do! I do!â
âRight, get over here, then.â
There werenât always five of us. Sometimes, it had been six.
Then I realised where we were. We were on the island â the sea had swallowed the land. I looked around. I was alone. Theyâd all gone. I was stuck there, forever screaming.
âElla?â
With a jolt of panic, I was wrenched back to now, back to the hard shed floor, Maxâs heavy body on top of me, waiting for the pain I knew was coming.
âElla?â
I was panting. âJust do it, Max. Do it, please. Iâm ready. Iâm ready. Iâm ready.â
But I wasnât ready. I was crying. The only thing I was ready to do at that moment was vomit. And just as he pulled away from me, a thick surge raced up my throat.
âOh God,â I managed to squeak, lunging for the open shed door as everything Iâd eaten that day erupted from my mouth before Iâd reached the nearest bush.
How to Kill a Moment, by Estella Grace Newhall.
For the next minute, the only sound was me yacking intoa yucca. When I was done, I looked behind me. Max was sitting on an upturned flowerpot. Naked and embarrassed, just like Adam. And there was I. Naked and embarrassed, just like Eve. âIâm sorry.â
âIâll get our clothes.â He stood up, snatched up his sodden boxers from the path and walked back towards the pool.
I followed him. âI feel better now.â
He turned around, his eyes as sad as Iâd ever seen them, and grabbed his trousers from a bronze giraffeâs ear, scrabbling them on. A plastic sachet fell out of his back pocket. I picked it up, but before I could look at it, he snatched it away.
âWhat was that?â
He stashed the packet back in his jeans. âCondoms.â
âI thought you said you didnât have any?â
He didnât answer.
âI hate that I keep doing this to you.â
âAll you had to say was no!â he yelled. âHave I ever pressured you? Why do you even lead me down the road if you canât go there?â
âI thought it would be OK this time.â
âYou thought that last time. And the time before that. And every time, we end up like this â having a massive barney.â He trailed off and scratched his head on both sides, like he was trying to scratch his brain out. âIâm sorry, Iâm sorry.â
He was so angry. Heâd never been this angry before. I saw what I was doing to him, his strange fury, and I hated myself even more. I started gathering up my clothes. It wasnât until Iâd laced my trainers and he was sitting on the edge of the pool with a roll-up that he spoke again.
âI Googled it,â he said, reaching for my hand. âGenophobia. Itâs a proper thing.â
I sat down next to him on the edge of the pool. âIs there a cure?â
He rubbed his mouth and reached for my hand. âDonât think so.â
âWeâll be OK though, wonât we?â
He surrounded me in a hug. âYeah. âCourse we will.â
âDid you talk to anyone about it?â
3
Thumping Good Fun
I didnât want to talk