The Dear One Read Free

“Anything special you want for dinner?”
    â€œChicken.”
    â€œShould have guessed.”
    Â 
    In the car I took a deep breath and asked, “Why’d Clair call so early?”
    â€œShe called about her daughter. I don’t know if you remember her. Rebecca?”
    I shook my head.
    â€œWell, I know you remember me telling you about Clair’s nervous breakdown a few years back. . . .”
    â€œYeah, I remember that.”
    â€œSeems Clair’s been having a hard time since then. First she and her husband split up. Then she lost her teaching position because she was taking so much time off since she wasn’t well. Now, it seems, her oldest daughter, Rebecca, is pregnant and Clair wants to know if she can come stay with us until the baby comes. She thinks Rebecca needs a quieter place. All of the other children put too much stress on her.” Ma sighed, then frowned. “Seems like history repeating itself. First Clair getting pregnant before she had a chance to finish college. Now Rebecca . . .”
    â€œWhy can’t Rebecca stay with her husband?”
    â€œShe’s not married, Feni. She’s fifteen.”
    â€œFifteen? Ma, are you playing a joke on me or something?”
    Ma pulled the car up in front of Roper Academy, but I didn’t budge. “I would never joke about something like this, Feni,” she said firmly.
    We stared at each other for a moment, her eyes worried behind her glasses.
    â€œI don’t want a pregnant girl in our house, Ma,” I said, trying to keep my voice even.
    â€œFeni”—Ma reached to touch my face but I pulled away—“don’t be judgmental. Give her a chance. . . . ”
    â€œI don’t want her here!”
    Ma put her hands on her lap. “I don’t know if I’m going to say yes or what. I feel like I owe Clair. We were so tight at Spelman. Then we lost touch. I always swore I’d do anything for her. I still want to believe that.”
    â€œWhat about me?” I wasn’t yelling, but my voice sounded too loud in the small car.
    â€œWe can talk about it all tonight. But I think it would be nice to have some company in the house. It’s been such a long time. We have all this space, and Bernadette could tutor Rebecca—”
    â€œWhat’s to talk about? I said I don’t want a pregnant girl in our house!”
    â€œAnd I said we’d talk later! This is about more than what you want for once, Afeni! If you can’t understand what being close to somebody means and wanting to help them when they ask for help, then you have a lot of growing to do! You don’t even know Rebecca, so how can you know whether or not you want her in our house?”
    â€œWho’s going to look after her?” I asked. “You? You work all the time, and Marion is not much better! I know it’ll all fall on me. I’ll be the one stuck in the house cleaning up after her. And I know she’ll end up in my room, because I’m not about to let anyone stay in Grandma’s room, and you’ll say the guest room is too drafty. So I’ll be the one who’ll have to hear her crying herself to sleep at night because she misses her mommy! Not you, Ma! So don’t tell me it’s our decision because it’s not! I don’t care how tight you and Clair were at Spelman, our house isn’t some home for pregnant girls! This is my life too, now, and I’m going to decide who I do and don’t want in it!”
    â€œLook, Feni,” Ma said, “you’re twelve today, not thirty. Now, when you’re old enough to be taking care of me, you can tell me what to do.”
    â€œI never had to take care of you?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow in her direction.
    Ma swallowed and gripped the steering wheel with both hands. Before the words were out, I regretted it. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to throw it in your face all the time,”