circles.
The circle of family. The circle of life. And today, the small golden circle that still graced my ring finger. I stared at the band, remembering how Shane had given it to me in the dream world as we made plans for our future together in the real one.
But that's all our plans ever amounted to––dreams.
It was time for some hard reality.
I gave Merry a stiff nod as I slid the ring from my finger. “Yes, I'm sure.” I felt the cool band drop into the palm of my hand.
“Goodbye Shane,” I whispered, touching the ring to my lips.
I released my grasp and let the ring roll from my fingertips into the open hole. It landed with the softest of sounds, but it seemed like the whole world should have heard it.
I kicked at the loose dirt around the edge of the plot with the toe of my sandal, covering the golden band with damp earth. When it was done, I took a deep breath and held it while my sisters edged in closer, waiting for my tears to start up again. But I had cried too many tears over the last few months, and I wasn’t sure I would ever cry again.
“What stage is this?” Eve asked, checking her phone for the time.
“Let's see...” Ruth Anne lifted a hand and began counting. “There's denial...”
“Check,” Eve said.
“Anger.”
“Double check!”
“Bargaining? Mags, did you bargain at all?”
I ignored them both, my eyes never leaving the burial plot. In truth, I had been bargaining every day, begging whatever powers were in charge for one last time together. I'd be nicer. I'd keep my cool. I'd work on my jealousy. Anything, to have Shane back.
“If she's done bargaining,” Ruth Anne continued, her tone as clinical as a doctor’s checking off a list of symptoms. “There's depression, and finally acceptance.”
“She's been depressed the whole time,” Eve announced. “I sure hope this is the acceptance stage. She's become a drag.”
“We need to support Maggie,” Merry said, her voice both kind and firm. “Grieving is a process, Evie. Despite what Ruth Anne would tell you, it's not done in five easy steps.”
Eve blew her bangs out of her eyes. “Yeah, I know. I watch daytime TV. But how much time? It’s been a full season, which is how long it takes on a show.”
“This isn't TV. It can take months, maybe years.” Merry swallowed, looking at me with pity. “But Maggie's strong. She'll get through this. Faster than most, I think.”
I wasn't so sure about that, but I nodded to comfort her. As always, she worried over me at the cost of her own health. It was one of the reasons I wanted to move on, and burying the ring was the first step. “Let's finish this,” I said. “I'm ready to go home.”
“Home?” Merry asked, a note of hope in her voice. I'd been staying with her and Ruth Anne. I hadn’t been ready to face Jillian and Dora back at Harvest Home yet.
“Sister House,” I corrected.
“Gotcha,” Merry said, with false cheer.
We crouched down and each placed a handful of soft dirt on the plot, smoothing it out and patting it into place. Merry planted a grayish-white flower beside it. Once done, she lifted her hands, closed her eyes, and released a silent blessing into the wind. Then, she plucked a petal and handed it to me. “Chew.”
“What's the flower?” I asked, taking it.
“Asphodel. It's to honor the dead. It links your life and his, forever.”
I put the flower in my mouth, chewed and swallowed, hoping she was right. Even if Shane died, I couldn't bear to think that the cord between us had been permanently severed. There were other planes of existence and I hoped to meet him again. The burial was an external proclamation that I had moved on, but inside, I still wasn't ready to let him go.
“Are we done here?” Ruth Anne asked, shaking the dirt from her hands. “There's a game on.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, this is Dark Root. We can't get games,” Eve reminded her. “Or reality shows,” she added wistfully.
Ruth Anne scraped