The Count of Eleven Read Free

Apple and the sapling? Who’s the character wearing his coat for a hat?”
    “My doorman. Started work this morning. Maybe he’ll attract some custom. Just as long as he doesn’t lose me any.”
    “You know what I say. Get yourself some stronger films, fill up your top shelf. That’s the way it works, isn’t it? The films you don’t like earn the money that pays for making the kind you like.” He scratched the cleft in his emergent moustache and then his stubbly cheeks, pushing their flesh upwards so that his round face briefly acquired a look of Oriental menace. _”Want rid of him?”
    “I expect I could shift him if I believed in violence.”
    “Leave it to someone who does.”
    Er
    Andy was out of the shop again, unzipping his leather jacket to free his brawny shoulders. “Flap away, caped crusader, before they have to carry you off on a stretcher. And don’t go thinking my friend inside sent me after you, he tried to stop me. He knows I’m a madman when I need to be.”
    “May God forgive you,” the hooded man said, louder than ever. When Andy lurched at him, however, he scurried downhill, almost leaving his coat behind.
    “That’s all it takes to get what you want,” Andy informed Jack, ‘looking fierce and sounding as if you mean to get it.”
    Thanks.”
    “Anything I can do to help, you know you don’t even need to ask.”
    That I do, Andy. Thanks.”
    This door could use a coat of paint. The way it looks now, people could think you’ve shut up shop.” Andy began to take boxes from the shelves at random and shake his head. “I don’t know how you can watch films with subtitles. People go to the cinema to be entertained, not to read a book. I didn’t leave a hammer or a drill at your house while I was working there, did I?”
    “Only a blow lamp
    “Keep it if it’s any use to you. I’ve been meaning to buy something lighter. How’s the house?”
    “We’ve someone coming to view it later.” Jack frowned at the door. “You’re right, this doesn’t look too inviting.”
    “Can it wait till I’ve finished the next job? I’ll be a couple of weeks.”
    “I may as well see to it myself.”
    “That’s my boy. Shall I hang on here while you fetch what you need?”
    Jack hadn’t meant immediately, but why not? “I’ll drive back,” he promised.
    “No panic. I’ll be doing my best to persuade folk that your films are more fun than they look.”
    That prospect sent Jack sprinting down the hill once Andy couldn’t see him. Victoria Road was almost crowded, the sun and the seaside-postcard sky having tempted families over from Liverpool. A breeze brought him the smell of fish and chips, or as much of it as his clogged nose could distinguish, and the unctuous amplified invitation of a Bingo caller: “Fun for all the family. Try your luck.”
    Nobody was home, though Laura’s bicycle was in the back yard. She’d scribbled “Gone to Jody’s‘ on the message board magnetised to the refrigerator door. He pulled the pedal bin out from beneath the sink and jammed his heels against the doors of the refrigerator and the oven as he manoeuvred the blow lamp from behind the pipe which led to the drain.
    The tank of the blow lamp was larger than his head, and he hadn’t realised how heavy it was. He picked it up by the handle and took it to his van, on the rear doors of which there was still a ghost of a satellite dish stencilled by the previous owner. He went upstairs to blow his nose, then he found his old lighter on the kitchen windowsill and snapped it on to check the flame, imagining the taste of the first drag at a cigarette. He’d kept the lighter to remind himself how he’d managed to kick the habit when Laura was born.
    Andy was chuckling at the antics of the skip inspectors. “This looks good. You want to get it.”
    “You think it would improve my business?”
    Andy looked faintly hurt. “Might help.”
    “We’ll see, Andy. Anyway, you’ve helped. Let’s go out for a