The Confession Read Free Page B

help those less fortunate than
myself.”
    “I want to ask you a
question,” Father Randall whispered . “Is your decision to serve
Our Lord based on guilt, or a genuine need to dedicate yourself as
a servant of Our Lord? Please answer truthfully.”
    “Yes, Father. I want to dedicate my
life to Our Lord. I want to change the direction of my life.” I
have one chance to purge my body and soul of the evil that consumes
me. With a new sense of resolve, I follow Father Randall into the
seminary, and this is the first day of the beginning of my new
life.
    “Have a seat John. I wish to talk to
you.”
    I sit in front of Father Randall’s desk
and I suddenly feel frightened for my life. Am I the right
candidate for the priesthood? What will happen to me if he rejects
me? I have nowhere to go. I take a deep breath, knowing my entire
future is in jeopardy.
    “I want you to be honest
with me John. The priesthood is more than a
vocation; it is a calling. The Catholic Church believes that God
speaks to some men and asks that they dedicate their lives to his
service. What makes you believe this is the life for
you?”
    “I want to be honest with
you, I do, but I don’t know how to express what I feel. It’s an
emptiness so deep within me; I’m scared that it will destroy me.
I’ve always been a religious person, that is until I started
drinking and using drugs. I don’t know how I got so far off track
with my life. On some level, I want, no, I need to dedicate myself
to a higher calling. I know I’m a mess, and I know it won’t be
easy, but I want this Father. I want to be a better person. I want
to change the course of my life. I’ve made a mess of my life, and I
can’t live like this for another day, because if I do, it will
destroy me.”
    “I don’t have any money. I
don’t have a sponsor. I have nothing but my desire to change my
life. I’ll work odd jobs if I need to. I’ll do whatever it takes to
succeed. I need help Father, and I have nowhere to go. Please
help me.”
    My nerves are about to snap. My future
is in Father Randall’s hands. He’s sitting behind his desk staring
at me. What does he see? Does he see a drug addict, or does he see
a shred of potential in me. Please God, help me end the torture
that is my life.
    “I hear sincerity in your voice John,
and I will help you. There will be conditions on my help. I hope
you understand that you have one chance to get this right. If you
fail, I will have no choice but to expel you from the seminary.
Here are my conditions.”
    “One: You must successfully
complete detoxification. That will not be easy for you John. I will
contact the seminary’s onsite doctor. Once you have a complete examination, we will discuss what treatment will successfully
get you through the detoxification.”
    “Two: At the appropriate
time, I will enroll and sponsor your studies. You will be
categorized as a Seminarian, and you will complete all of the
necessary theological studies. Once you have completed your religious studies, you will be ordained a Transitional Diaconate. Prospective
priests serve for roughly a year in the Diaconate and make promises
of celibacy and obedience to his Bishop at this stage. The
process takes, at
least, five years. Once you are ordained a
priest, you will be assigned to your parish.”
    “Three: The Church will
absorb most of the expense of your education, on the condition that
you maintain your grade level. You will also be required to work
part-time, as long as it does not interfere with your studies. I
will find a job for you. I will provide room for you here, with
me, until you are ordained.”
    “You will not have an easy
life while you live here, but it will be challenging and rewarding.
I am giving you a clean slate, John. What you do with it is
entirely up to you. However, I will be required to document what we
have discussed today, and it will be on your permanent record. Do
you feel you have it in you to complete your studies