room as he sipped from cans of beer and cursed the referee under his breath each time a decision went against his team. This only disturbed my time spent reading the erotic fiction I had been secretly downloading to my iPad. Those stories were as close as my life got to being erotic these days. Ben always seemed too tired – stressed out – with work to perform lately. I had tried – I really had. But he always seemed to have an excuse. Wasn’t I meant to be the one who had the headaches? I’d never known a guy to get so many. He popped so many painkillers, I was surprised he didn’t rattle when he walked.
Heading across the station car park towards my car, I knew my life had fallen into a rut. Both our lives had. At the age of twenty-five, I’d taken to fantasizing about strangers on the train to try and bring some excitement to my life. Unlocking my car door, I clambered inside and threw my bag on the passenger seat. A fleeting flash of my dream passed across the front of my mind and I cringed. But why did I cringe? What did I have to feel embarrassed about? No one knew other than me, and the thought of being fucked hard by a complete stranger did have its merits. It would never last long enough to become boring. I had often thought of what it would be like to have a no-strings-attached-fuck. I didn’t know, and guessed I never would. I had never had a one-night stand. Not even when I was single. Ben had been my first and a part of me now regretted that. Ben was three years older than me, and I knew I hadn’t been his first. It didn’t bother me back then, but wondered if it did now. As I had often sat and watched him from over the top of my iPad, I wondered what those other girls – the ones he had fucked before me – had been like. Was I boring? I wondered. Did I still turn him on? God knows I had tried over the last few years. I’d lost count of how many times I’d paraded around the bedroom dressed in underwear no bigger than a pair of shoelaces, but nothing seemed to work. He was always so tired, stressed, or in pain with a sore head. Maybe he had a brain tumour? I wondered, starting up the car and heading out of the car park. Nah, he didn’t have a brain tumour – although if he did, I would soon be a widow and that would leave me free, to...
Chloe Wells! I chided myself again. What are you thinking!
I did love Ben, he was a good husband in so many ways, but he had become so boring. Sometimes I hoped that he was having an affair. I wouldn’t be happy about it, but it would justify me having unattached sex with someone else without guilt. It would make us even. But Ben was never going to have an affair – he didn’t even go to the office Christmas party anymore. He had become dull. He was obsessed with his banking career. He didn’t have time for me – let alone another woman.
I headed towards home, the last fragments of my dream flitting around in the back of my mind. I thought of that guy again and what we had done together in my dream. Some chance, I thought, the memory of it making my skin tingle and turning m e a little wet. Feeling a bit horny as I remembered my dream, I pushed a little harder on the accelerator and sped up. Glancing at my wristwatch, I knew that Ben wouldn’t be home for another hour or so. That would give me time to relieve myself of that tingly excitement I felt at the thought of that guy fucking me on the train. I’d bought a vibrator a year or two back on the suggestion of a girlfriend. She said her and her husband used it during foreplay. Apparently it had really done things for their sex life. It had done jack-shit for mine, and I’d taken to using it on myself when alone in the apartment. Did I care? A little, if I were being honest with myself, but looking on the bright side, the vibrator was always willing, it never went soft before I’d come, and it never got a fucking headache!
So racing home, I planned to spend the next hour or two before Ben got home and