The Book of Joby Read Free

Gabriel will officiate. I’ll send him to tell you where and when, so don’t make yourself too hard to find.”
    “Of course not!”
Lucifer exclaimed, nearly swallowing his long tongue in euphoric astonishment. “I will be at Your every beck and call, My Lord. . . . At least, for a short while longer.”
    Lucifer was so excited, he failed to notice that one of the freshly glutted gulls had just defecated on his shoulder, and another on his expensive shoe. In fact, he had so forgotten himself that he carelessly popped from sight right in front of the waiter just arriving with his latte and another plate of pastry. There was only so much even mortal minds could be made to ignore. The Creator sighed and shook His head as the young man hit the pavement in a dead faint, his tray of food falling with him.
    “Leave a generous tip,” He told Gabriel. “I’ve got a lot to do before tonight.” He turned to go, then stopped to smile mischievously back at His beloved angel. “I’m sorry if I seemed harsh with you a moment ago, My friend; but you nearly blew the whole deal. What if you’d made that ass stop to think things through?” He gave the unconscious waiter another rueful glance. “In fact, see that
all
his tips today are generous.”
    Then He was gone, leaving Gabriel to contrive some damage control, andwonder anxiously what on earth his Master knew that he had overlooked. It seemed a terribly reckless bet to him. Did the Creator not care that Gabriel himself was part of the creation to be erased should their human champion fail? Still, doubt was not strong in Gabriel’s nature, especially regarding his Lord’s judgment, so he just shrugged uncomfortably and bent to care for the fallen waiter.

PART ONE
     

     

Innocence and Guile
     

1
     
( Only Name the Quest )
     
    “
Run! . . . Run, you scaredy cat!
The king will always beat you, Zoltan! And all your dumb ugly creatures too!
Ha!
Just
one
of Arthur’s knights is better than your
whole stupid army
!
Ha, ha ha haaaa
!” Joby laughed in unrestrained exultation, brandishing his wooden sword from the castle walls as the humiliated enemy fled yet another great battle in disarray.
    “Joooooby! . . . Joby?”
    Joby’s shoulders slumped, but he ignored his mother’s voice and waved his sword once more at the fleeing horde. “I’ve got better monsters than
you
out of my
cereal
!” he hollered in contempt.
    “Joby. I know you can hear me,” his mother called, from the side yard this time. “Did you leave all this stuff on the driveway again?”
    It was the kind of question Joby had never figured out how, or why, he was supposed to answer.
    “I don’t
think
so,” he called back lamely, turning reluctantly from the battlefield beyond their backyard fence.
    His mother came around the corner of the house carrying a large disk of cardboard in one hand, painted yellow, a red dragon scrawled uncertainly at its center, a banged-up book in the other hand, and a tattered red bedspread draped over her arm.
    “It must have been some other knight then,” she said with the grim half smile that meant she was annoyed, but not enough to cause him any real trouble.
    Joby remembered having left these encumberments behind in the heat of battle, but, like any knight worth his salt, he knew when to keep his own counsel. Did she really think warriors could run around
cleaning up
in the middle of a
battle
? Girls could be so pathetic!
    His mother set his book, cape, and shield on the lawn in front of him and said, “If you do find the knight who left these there, please point out that your father could have driven right over them when he comes home. Unlessthat
other
knight wants tire tracks added to his family crest, he should find someplace better to leave his things.” Her grin widened. She seemed very pleased with herself for no reason Joby could see, but since this meant he was in even less trouble than he’d thought, he obliged her by grinning back. “You