evidently, there were a rash of secret marriages this year. But I wasn't about to tell Kelly the truth of mine.
"What do you mean?" I said. "Isn't she engaged to Joe? Did she dump him and marry someone else without anyone knowing?"
Victoria had been living with Joe for over a year. Nice guy. Not terribly ambitious. I hadn't seen anything about a breakup or her marriage on any of my social media. But if the marriage were secret, I wouldn't hear about it, would I?
Kelly nodded. "Yes, Joe. Who else?"
"But why in secret?" I was confused. "What about her wedding plans for next summer? I already have the save-the-date card."
"Exactly." Kelly did the bobblehead thing. "And that's the problem. Joe lost his job in May, and with it, his health insurance. No biggie, right? But you have to have insurance or get fined. And health insurance is expensive. Especially when you don't have a job.
"So, you know, Victoria. She's pragmatic and likes to flaunt the rules."
Which was ironic for someone who had been head of our sorority standards board for over a year. The standards board members were the cops of the house, policing policy violations, and acting as judge and jury when an offending member came before them.
But, as Vicki told me when I expressed shock she was running for the job the first time, if she was head of the board, she could bend the rules to suit her interpretation and spare her friends. She could be the benevolent dictator of the house.
When she was elected by a landslide, her board became a kind of supreme court that didn't care much for the letter of the law. She was known for turning a blind eye to anything that wasn't completely egregious and blatantly thrown in her face. Her motto had been "I don't care what you do as long as I don't know about it."
"She and Joe already put nonrefundable deposits down on their venue and catering, so they couldn't move up the wedding date," Kelly said as she sat back in her chair. "Her mom would kill her.
"So they decided to quietly go to the courthouse and get married in a civil ceremony so Joe could go on her health plan immediately. They thought it would be no problem to have the religious ceremony for her family and friends next summer. No one would be the wiser."
I shrugged, disappointed in Victoria's so-called scandal. It wasn't nearly as brash and unconventional as mine.
"What's scandalous about that?" I said. "It sounds like good common sense."
"It was. But, like I said, she didn't tell her parents because her mom would flip. But not a problem. Why would her mom have to know?
"Until her mom started insisting she be the one to turn the license in to the state to register the marriage. Suddenly, Vicki needs a second license. Badly . And finds out she can't get a second license in Washington State. It's illegal when you're already married."
Tell me about it! Nothing new there. I frowned. Vicki's problem seemed minor compared to mine.
"Turning in the license to register the marriage with the state is the pastor's job." I'd been a maid of honor enough times to know that. "Why doesn't she just tell her mom that?"
"Because of her older sister." Kelly looked smug. She'd come to the main point now. "Her sister had a big wedding ceremony three years ago. Threw the bouquet. Stuffed cake in her groom's mouth. Went on the honeymoon." Kelly paused. "Here's the kicker—she never signed the license. Or turned it in. Disappeared for a while after the ceremony with the groom so it would look like she was doing the signing. Faked everyone out. But it was all a hoax."
Crap. I knew about hoaxes, all too well.
"She 'got married' just to please her parents," Kelly said. "Now Vicki's mom doesn't trust Vicki . Like dishonesty is somehow genetic and she's predestined to pull the same trick. If Vicki's mom is going to pay for a big ceremony again this time, she wants to make sure it's actually a legal marriage, not a fake."
"Wow," I said, warming to the magnitude of the scandal. "