your family, and it’s impossible to get ahead. Once he got me settled, though, his mother got sick and he had to return to the island.”
It was as close to the truth as I could get, but still a lie. Life where I actually came from was hard. It was nearly impossible to rise above the poverty and violence, to provide for your family while keeping them and yourself alive. And, of course, there was the small matter of the circumstances behind Antonio’s departure from Miami. It hadn’t been for family. And it hadn’t been his will to leave me, either.
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Jennet said, patting my hand and pouting a bit. “It must be incredibly hard for you to be here alone, without him.”
I shrugged, even though she’d hit the nail on the head. It was incredibly hard. Some days, it felt impossible. But lately, ever since that horrible text message, and seeing my love savaged from the very thing we’d fled from in the first place, I had to draw the strength from somewhere to keep going. I had to keep going — for Antonio’s sake. It was through his love for me and my devotion to him that I found the ability to get up, to go to work, to try to have some semblance of a life here. He’d given everything to get me to Miami, leaving everything he knew behind. And now that he was the one who was in trouble, it was up to me to save him.
“I know he wanted me to be successful here,” I said. “That’s what makes it easier.”
“Well, if you ever need anything — and I mean anything, Sol, including a cup of a sugar, a shoulder to cry on, or anything else — you just tell me.”
I frowned. “A cup of sugar?”
“Anything,” Jennet emphasized, laughing. “It tickles me when you don’t understand an expression in English. You can call me an asshole. It just makes you even more charming.”
“Well, thanks, I guess,” I said, shaking my head. Jennet was a strange one, but she seemed to be one of the good guys. I hadn’t had this much of a talk with anyone in a long time — maybe ever. Faith was my only other good friend, and we’d always been too busy at the club to hold much in the way of a conversation with each other.
This was the kind of life I’d yearned for, coming to America. This was what I’d craved — relaxing in somebody’s yard, cooking good food, and talking about things that didn’t matter with people who did matter to you. This idea of leisure, good times, and a close-knit community was foreign. Sure, I’d had family and friends back home. But we couldn’t meet out in the open like this. Any show of wealth and the gangs would be on us like sharks sniffing out droplets of blood. Celebrations were low-key events, and even then, it was a strain on budgets and made you feel like it wasn’t worth it to go all out. Back home, it was hard to be normal, to behave in a relaxed manner, to put your feet up and not worry about where the money was coming from to pay for all of this, or whether someone might suspect you had a little too much money to spend on yourself.
If only Antonio were here. That was the imperfection in our relationship that I couldn’t bring myself to love. Being apart from him was killing me. It was keeping me from my American dream.
Chapter 2
Faith and all of her friends sent me home with a full belly and a plastic container full of even more food. I’d protested, but deep down, I was grateful. I tightened my meager budget even further to accommodate ransom payments I’d never considered needing to afford.
I was happy to be able to contribute to the barbecue.